SCRIPT #14 (Let there be Randomness)

Thanks to LM for providing this story. I don't know how to elaborate, but I'll think along the way...
So you may see no-link stuff suddenly happening all at once. God said, "Let there be Randomness".

Ok so Mr Ng and Black Mamba were at the side of the pond chatting.

Mr. Ng: 各位同学们, 老师, 校长,早上好. 今天我的题目是... ...
Black Mamba: Walausth! Oni too ofs uss yoo grit evrtynsones fer wutsh?
Mr. Ng: 怎么啦? 我每次都是这样说的吗! 要不然你要我怎么说?
Black Mamba: Yoo sthoulsd saeh ein Englissth sthen iee cen ontersthand wut!
Mr. Ng: 好... ... Todae myi topik iss abort likkering. Yoo arl, ass gud stodents, shood trohw ruddish intoh thee ruddish bim. Yoo arl dizgraze thee skool, anyhow likker. Studies gud, but morel nut gud, still vehi bed. Muz larn! How to trohw likker into de correk plase. Thank you.
Black Mamba: Aah... Yoo toksth likes tat thenx iee knowsh wut yoo tokkingsht! Wee buth toks de sthame way... Yoo wanth goo owt wifsth miee?
Mr. Ng: 跟你出去? 神经病! 我都不认识你!
Black Mamba: Buth yoo jusht naow tokking too miees ehs!
Mr. Ng: 我在跟整个学校讲啦! 我只懂学校, 不懂学生!
Black Mamba: Walausth! Werest gots pinsipel dunnos sthudentss ones? NOOBsth!
(Just then Thanasilam walks by)
Thanasilam MK: Aniwun si my koy?
Mr. Ng: ???
Thanasilam MK: Eye sed, anuwun si my koy? From der pon!
Black Mamba: Iee sthink hi saidsth abouth thee koi fish froms the poind...
Mr. Ng: 喔, 我已经把它们吃掉了...
Thanasilam MK: Wut hi tokking?!
[Translator translator job]
Black Mamba: He saisd he ates yoor koi fisth!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? He 8 my koy? Imma going too killim!
Mr. Ng: 他说什么题目? 是不是在说 likkering 的东西?
Black Mamba: He'sth goin thoo keel yoosth!
Mr. Ng: 什么的地狱? Zao zao zao! (jumps into pond)
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? He 8 my fiss! Now he's pollutin der wahter with hiss farts! Tell that f**ker cum out now!
(YingKang appears.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, play Chinese Chess! I show my true skill! You die liao, call me f**ker right? You watch out! Come! 将军!
Thanasilam MK: Wut? In der farst playse I dun evin kno wut yoo tokking about!
Black Mamba: He sthays he wants plays Cshinese Chesssss wifs yoos!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der fukk? Haow can ii plae Chynis Chez wen imma Indian??
Black Mamba: Iee fites heem beforesth! Yoo musth win him orr he willsh sthpam "PORKsth"!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? I'm Halal, and hi steel dare sae pork? Ie dare 'im say pork! I will beatim up!
YingKang: You think you Indian very pro is it? Say sorry! (slap Thana) Say sorry! (slap Thana) Say SORRY! (slap Thana) Say Sorry...
Thanasilam MK: STOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! WUT DER HEL, IE DOO WUT MUS SAE SORRRRRY? IE NEVIR DOO ANI RRONG! SLAP MEE FER WUT? I WILL KANE YOO! YOO WUN DYE ISIT?
YingKang: (who is keeping up with trends) DUN WAN LEH! I should be asking you that question! You want die is it? Huh, pork kelvin!
Black Mamba: Walausth, YingsKangsth, dun lyk tats lahss...
YingKang: Shuddup lah, ghey, you think you very funny isit? Cheebuy...
Thanasilam MK: I dun kare! Mr. Ng 8 up all my fiss, now dis bleddy bastird cum and tok kok! I will kane everyone!
YingKang: You think you Halal pro? Now you die! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Weirdly, Black Mamba died but Thanasilam is unaffected.)
YingKang: What the hell? Pork pork ahahahahaha! Why you never die?
Thanasilam MK: Becos Ie hav der power off der Halal!
YingKang: If pork cannot kill you, there is but ONE way to settle the problem!
Thanasilam MK: And wut is tat supposed too bee?
YingKang: That is you must play Chinese Chess with me! If you more powerful than me, then I won't fight you, but if I more powerful then I will fight you!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel you tokking abot?
YingKang: Just play Chinese Chess! I will teach you how move! You listen!
(YingKang starts playing a round with Thanasilam.)
YingKang: Okay, you start first, you move this piece up! Here! Then I move my 马, okay... Now you move this piece up! Yes, eat my piece... Then I use 车 block... You will use this 炮, this piece, move up, eat my 马. I sacrifice this... Then I move 兵... You move this sideways, eat my 兵...
(And so YingKang told Thanasilam what to do for the whole match. Stupidly, he kept telling Thanasilam what to do until all but his 将 remains and Thanasilam has 将 him with a combination of 车马将, 双炮将 and 飞将, with a 率 blocking the way.)
YingKang: Eh? What the hell?
Thanasilam MK: So I win? I win? I win! LOL, stoopid boii, yoo teach me how too win! Ahehehe!
YingKang: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Thanasilam MK: I jus folo yoor instrructshuns and I wun! Yes!
YingKang: Cheebuy lah! (Push Thanasilam into the pond)
Thanasilam: Eh? Wut der hel? Aaaaah!
(Mr. Ng was just resurfacing out of the pond when Thanasilam fell on him. They hit each other's head and died instantly. Now there are 2 floating bodies on the pond.)
YingKang: I am General! No one wins me! <-- 死都不认输
Out of a corner, Mr. Chong witnesses what happens and ran off...
Mr. Chong: This is a police matter. The police will take care of him themselves... (take out phone)

TO BE CONTINUED

I put "to be continued" because the next part of the script will be a totally different setting.
Anticipate for it, or I will keep hitting you until you say "Stop it lah, f**ker" then I'll leave you to die.