LaMeST bLOg eVa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

SCRIPT #25 (B.Nerd Origins)

2010-04-14T02:32:00.003+08:00

Hi! We're back after half a year! Our classes got separated so we didn't manage to come across any funny shit together. This is contributed by Lamer aka Amos, who came up with the story of B.Nerd. This is how he came to be...

Once, there was this boy, known to dig his nose wherever he is, and to read books wherever he go, known as the infamous B.Nerd. He thinks he is very smart and can just dig his nose and eat whatever that he obtains under his fingernails.
(One day, he was listening to music in his class)
E3 person: Eh, B.Nerd! Stop listening lah! Listen to teacher!
(B.Nerd turns back to E3 person, digging his nose as usual.)
B.Nerd: (eating whatever he got) Your problem isit? You listen lah! Why must I listen? Fail!
E3 person: At least respect the teacher right? Berna... B.Nerd! And stop eating your mucus! It's disgusting!
B.Nerd: This is disgusting? Let me tell you, all people have this! (showing mucus on his finger) Everyone has it, you know? You use your little finger go inside your nostril, wait 2 seconds, have liao! (licked his finger)
E3 person: Stop eating lah! You damn disgusting leh!
B.Nerd: Excuse me, this is not disgusting. You must not call this disgusting. Everyone has this. For such a smart boy like me, I refer it as "liquefied substances of green raisins". Only someone with a brain as big as me can use such profound phrases! You shut up, brainless maggot!
Mrs. Mil: STOP TALKING! You all talk more than the girls. Girls lend them your skirt to them so that the boys can talk more. Boys if you all talk again I will shift your place. Yes anot?
B.Nerd: Aiya, shut up lah, E-Mil! So noisy, like what like that! (dig his nose)
Mrs. Mil: STOP DIGGING! You are showing disrespect to me! Do you not see the logic in that?
B.Nerd: (eat his mucus) Aiya, so noisy! How I dig my nose in peace? I still need to read Harry Pooter and the Bangla Stone one leh.
Mrs. Mil: Where is your logic, where's your concept? If you have no logical thinking, how you grasp conceptual knowledge?
B.Nerd: I so smart, need what sai knowledge? I know EVERYTHING!
(2 days later, after the Chemistry test, B.Nerd failed.)
B.Nerd: Ridiculous! What the hell is this?
E3 person: Haha, never listen teacher, in the end dig nose still fail! 19/100! Haha!
B.Nerd: Tiam! I must report this mistake to the teacher.
(B.Nerd walks to Mrs. Mil)
B.Nerd: Why you give me only 19%? I think I deserve at least 110%.
Mrs. Mil: Because you never use logic and concept what! Here, the test ask you what is the material of cathode. Everyone see the question know is copper already. You never use logic and then go anyhow answer. What you write? "The material is a metal of atomic number 29. It is a ductile metal with very high thermal and electrical conductivity. It is rather soft and malleable, and a freshly-exposed surface has a pinkish or peachy color. It is used as a thermal conductor, an electrical conductor, a building material, and a constituent of various metal alloys." What the shit is this?
B.Nerd: I'm only using my powerful knowledge to answer the question. Out of 1 mark, you should have given me 7 marks for the eloquence of my answer.
Mrs. Mil: Even if I gave you more marks, you will still fail the test. This is the ONLY question you have attempted. You took so long to write this that you took the entire 30 minutes writing all this. For this one-mark question, we're only looking at one keyword: Copper. You didn't use your knowledge and thus failed the paper.
B.Nerd: What is this?! The teachers of ZhongHua so Fail one! (dig nose) I might as well quit this school and join the School for Gifted Youngsters! You this kind of teacher, FAIL ONE LAH!
Mrs. Mil: STOP TALKING! You call me Fail, isit? You die! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars. Because of the mars which cause the-
B.Nerd: TIAM!
(With a flick of his finger, B.Nerd threw his pi-sai, literally "nose-shit", into Mrs. Mil's mouth. Mrs. Mil choked on it and died.)
B.Nerd: You this kind of teacher, die also nevermind one! (dig nose) I'm so glad you died!
(To show more disrespect, B.Nerd bent down and sneezed on Mrs. Mil's face.)
B.Nerd: LOL, now you have pi-sai on your face also! Hahaha!
(The whole class was very unhappy.)
E3 guy: OEI BERNA... B.NERD! WHY YOU GO KILL HER!?
B.Nerd: Excuse me, this is not I kill her. You must not say that I killed her. For a smart boy like me, I refer it as "Indirectly caused her death by incidentally flicking a piece of solidified mucus into her windpipe, thus causing her to choke on it as she opened her mouth". Only someone with a brain as big as me can use such complicated sentences! You all shut up! I am the SMARTEST!
And so everyone started to dislike B.Nerd. The hatred grows as the story continues...

To be continued
The next one will be a mini-series with tie-ins to our previous scripts! So read up on them a bit do you'll get it when you read it. We shall be trying our best to add more stories in. -LOL

EPIC VIDEOS WATCH IT HAHA=)HAPPY DEEPAVALI LOL

2009-10-15T20:04:00.001+08:00

SIDE NOTE

2009-09-28T01:34:00.002+08:00

This blog is neither abandoned nor dead. We are just running low on imagination and there are no interesting events happening at school. If Mr. Yeo returns to ZHSS, I can gurantee there will be 50 more stories. But he's mentally-challenged, so it's sad. As long as you can give me something funny and interesting, whether it really happens or not, we'll accept it and a story will be posted.

LOL

Best of canon rock=)

2009-08-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

48GUITARIST PLAYING THIS SONG ROFL HAHA=)ENJOY THE ART OF GUITAR!

SCRIPT #24 (contribution)

2009-08-05T17:55:00.002+08:00

This is by Suharyo without any changes or anything. No story for now...

(During Chem lesson in 3E6 classroom)

Wong Hook shiong: Where is the 10 year series homework that I tell u all to go home and do ytd?

YK: Psp Pork Pork ahahaha, I left it at home forget to bring. Want Chinese chess? I got bring. Psp pork pork.

Wong Hook Shiong: Why u rmb to bring Chinese chess but forget to bring the 10 year series? U dunno how important the O level exams. Without the 10 year series, u are definitely not prepared.

YK: Diam lar,I got my psp pork pork ulti can liao lar. Pork pork all the examiners who dun gimme A1 for any subjects. U better DIAM or I let u try it. Psp pork pork ahahaha

Wong Hook Shiong: The examiners are all from Cambridge University, I doubt u even have the ability to get through the custom check. U have repeating the “psp pork pork”, so they might get suspicious that u may hav kena H3E6 (PSPporkza A).

YK: wad PSP porkza? Insult my ulti. Toooot!!!

Wong Hook Shiong: wad toooot? I will issue u demerit form for that.

(Just then Danny Chiw stands outside the class)

Danny Chiw: I would like to see all this people, YK.

YK: walao cher, only me oso say “u all” psp pork pork ahaha

Danny Chiw: U hav already not handed in yur SS work and u are still complaining, U better wipe that smile off yur FACE!!!! Before I start issuing out demerit forms.

Wong Hook Shiong: Orh yea, thanks for the reminder Danny, YK!!! Where is the demerit form also that I tell u to sign ytd?

(Mr Yo walks past and overheard the conversation)

Mr Yo: Orh yea, YK!!! Where is my maths book 3?

YK: Aiya all forget to bring lar and Mr Yo, I tot u suppose to be in jail. Psp pork pork

Mr Yo: Hold it!! Who else never hand in my maths book 3? Own up!! These ppl I wanna see yur books by 2.30 in my cupboard. I may not noe yur name but I noe yur face, u cannot run away. For those who never bring, see me after this. Its yur own responsibility to hand in yur work when u are told to.

YK: Mr Yo u suck lar, go jail ready still escape. Ownself no senses of responsibility still tell me to hav the responsibility to hand in my work. Are u trying to be stupid or are you stupid? Psp pork pork

Mr Yo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out….

YK: means u blunt lar

(Mr Cong walks past)

Deskman Cong: Phillipine Yo!! Escape from jail arh. I shall bring u back to jail

(Deskman Cong arrest Philipine Yo)

Mr Yo: Rmb arh, my maths bk 3 by 2.30!!

Danny Chiw: So YK, I want to see my SS homework done by 2.30 or I will consider giving u 1 demerit point

YK: giv then giv lar PSP pork pork ahahaha

Danny Chiw: U better dun force me to be sarcastic and tell u that u are smarter than a 5^th grader

YK: U insult me right? Funny hor? Come sit down!! Play Chinese chess

Danny Chiw: wad Chinese chess? I only noe history. France was bullied by Germany twice so France wanted to cripple Germany through TOV to prevent ……..

YK: I dun giv a damn about history. Hitler here, Stalin there. Jus sit down and PLAY Chinese chess

Danny Chiw: Wipe that evil smile off yur face. Play then play lar. But dun let me be sarcastic and tell u that u can win me. Jiang!!!

YK: wad? I lose?

(YK knocks Danny Chiw’s face on the ground hard)

YK: Say sorry!!! Say sorry!!

Danny Chiw: sorry lar!!

Wong Hook Shiong: eh relax lar

(Wong Hook Shiong hits YK’s face)

(YK knocks Wong Hook Shiong’s face on the ground hard)

YK: Say sorry!! Say sorry!!

Wong Hook Shiong: dun want lei, dun want lei fucker

(Everyone cover their ears except for Wong Hook Shiong who is outdated)

YK: U call me fucker right? U call me fucker right? Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork PorkPork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork PorkPork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork PorkPork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork PorkPork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork PorkPork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork .

(Wong Hook Shiong died of heart attack)

Danny Chiw: YK!! I am going to give u detention for murdering Mr Wong.

(Babi bobby appear)

Babi bobby: U think this is funny? GO STAND ON THE TABLE! TUCK IN YUR BLOODY SHIRT! U WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME RIGHT? NEH MIND, I PLAY WITH U! EVERYONE SEE HOW STUPID THESE PEOPLE ARE! THEY PLAY WITH ME I MAKE SURE THEY SUFFER!

YK: walao eh u liddat 1, I kill ppl oso not yur problem. Come here extra for wad psp pork pork.

Babi bobby: wad psp pork pork? Insult me? Fine! I make sure u stand on the table until school ends.

(Suhayo appears)

YK: ahahaha my reinforcement come liao. U better zao!!

(Everyone runs away except for Babi Bobby, YK and Suhayo)

Babi bobby: U also want play games with me?

(YK covers his ear)

Suhayo: Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic Logic

(Babi bobby dies)

The end

Moral of the story:

dun talk back to YK

cover yur ears whenever u see YK or Suhayo

And dun even try to play Chinese chess

Tsk, what the hell is this.

剧本＃二十三　（中国CHYNA)

2009-07-19T16:08:00.002+08:00

这是非一般的剧本，是用华文写出来的哦！如果你觉得你能的话，就读下去吧。

（林老师 Mrs Chua 在教她的 Band 2 学生）
林老师：好了，安静了！快点，我要教你们华文。我可是学校教了四十年的老师！
（杨专乐老师 Mr Yeo 走了近来）
杨专乐：我已经教了四十年!你要跟我比？
林老师：我才不要跟你比！我以前是最聪明的老师！我才没时间跟你这种笨蛋比！
杨专乐：不要做个屁股！
林老师：我是屁股你是什么？你就是阴茎！（lanjiao in Chinese)
杨专乐：我在等一个尖的学生来告诉我... ...
林老师：哦，那你就是不尖咯！所以你才那你尖的钥匙去刮别人的车！一人做事一人当，你还撞倒了人。现在你去坐牢啦!
杨专乐：我已经教了四十年，我知道你们所做的错误。你还要跟我顶嘴？我要你把这张纸填上来!
林老师：不要哦！我就是不要！我以前小一到小六，中一到中四，大学考了30年，还去了中国去读了40年，我比你更厉害！
杨专乐:　哎哟，鬼才信你喔！
林老师：鬼当然信我啦！难到信你吗？
杨专乐：不要做个屁股！
林老师：我是屁股你就是 ... ...
游戏方阿权：好啦，tiam 啦！你们很吵！人家要做功课！
林老师：大人在说话，猪不要插嘴！
游戏方阿权：你骂我是猪！你自己还不是一样!　法歌！
（YingKang 变出来）
YingKang: 你骂我法歌是吗？你骂我法歌是吗？来！坐下来，玩象棋！一，二，三，将军！我车炮将，双马将，双车将，all 将！你无路可逃！
游戏方阿权：哦，什么？我都不知道你在做什么！
YingKang: 你是跑不过我的厉害！我 show 你我的真实力量！三步死亡！哈哈哈哈！
游戏方阿权：我刚才说法歌！就是法国的歌曲。我不是讲 "F**KER"! （盖住嘴巴）噢，大便！
YingKang: 你以为我有这么笨吗？我亲耳听到你说 f**ker！你找死！去死吧！猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉！
（游戏方阿权得了心脏病而死亡）
YingKang: 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
杨专乐：你杀了人！我报警！
YingKang: 你刮别人的车，撞倒了人，还跑掉，我报警！
杨专乐：你... ... 你... ... 你好！你够尖！
YingKang: 我知道我很尖，那你就不尖咯！我很好，你不好！你坏！
林老师：一人做事一人当，你给我出来！
YingKang: DUN WAN LEH!
林老师：这是华文班，用华语！华语酷！
YingKang: 你们要不要玩象棋？我用我的真实力量，用全部不同的 "将" 来打败你！
杨专乐：不要做个屁股！你真的要我报警吗？
YingKang: 警察怕我！他们怕我的“猪肉”，都不敢捉我！你们这些阴茎头， (dickheads)　无药可救！去死！猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉猪肉!
（林老师和杨专乐得了心脏病而死亡）
YingKang: 看谁敢来跟我来玩象棋！我杀他们！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
－－－－－－－－－－剧终－－－－－－－－－－

喔，很短的一个剧本耶！李老师的“白猴子”故事就要等到下一个剧本咯！
从这篇故事，能学到什么？
答：___________________________________________________
你回答不了的话，你 = 失败

SCRIPT #22 (Mr Chong investigates)

2009-07-05T18:20:00.005+08:00

Continuing from the previous story...

(Mr Chong went to the class to investigate. What he saw was the bodies of Mr Ley and Game.)
Mr Chong: This is a police matter. The police will look into the case. But I'm the police officer of the school! I will look into the matter.
(A moment later, the Serangoon Police Force came as they heard the explosion)
Policeman: What is going on here? Looks like the attack of a terrorist!
Mr Chong: Eh you all come for what? I am the police officer of the school! I will handle it. You can all go back to your neighbourhood post.
Policeman: Eh, but where is your police uniform? You're wearing a plain white shirt! You look just like a biology teacher!
Mr Chong: Shut your mouth! During school time, I am Mr Chong, the biology teacher! During terrorist attacks, I am Mr Chong, the police officer! You go back to your police post!
Policeman: Uh, Mr Chong. We collaborate with you, because you can handle the crimes IN SCHOOL. Not about this kind. This kind of attack is terrorists! It is about the country! You have no right to interfere with the Singapore Police Force!
Mr Chong: Shut up! Huh, talk back to your DM in a threatening tone! 3 detention for you! Go to the foyer, and let Mdm Lau take your name!
Policeman: What talking you? What 3 detention? I'm here to investigate!
Mr Chong: Investigate? I investigate lah! You all noob lah! Lack of initiative to go away, I give you 2 more detention!
Policeman: What the hell you talking? This is serious! Stop wasting our time!
Mr Chong: You are wasting your own time! I give you chance, you are still talking away! Teacher tell you keep quiet, you still talking! 3 more detention!
Policeman: ZzZz you are crazy!
Mr Chong: Say teacher crazy is it? 2 more detention! Now you have 10 detention! You are SCREWED!
(The Policeman twisted his head and died)
Mr Chong: Now I can continue to investigate! (Looking at the floor) Hmmm... The floor is very oily. It looks like the work of a fat man! Hmmm... The Americans may have dropped another Fat Man! And they drop on us! They want a war is it? We are also not the Japanese!
(Meanwhile)
Nattapork: Wah, siao! Finally reach home! I am safe! ... Walau but my Try It 1 haven't finish yet! The textbook got destroyed by my Body Slam! Walau! Lame! I keep losing all my books! Need to buy one again!
(Then Nattapork's housemaster came along)
Housemaster: Nattapork! You haven't pay me this month's rent! Give now! Quick! Don't waste my time!
Nattapork: Wait lah! I just do Body Slam! Can wait for me to recharge or not?
Housemaster: DUN WAN LEH! Quick, $300 rent! Give now! Quick! Or else I kick you out!
Nattapork: I never bring wallet la, lame! You ask me for money, I don't have!
Housemaster: Don't have is it! Then you get out of my house! NOW!
Nattapork: What the hell! I just come back want to rest! You keep demanding for money! Lame moneyface! Die la! Body Slam!
(Meanwhile, back in school)
Mr Chong: Where should I start my investigation?
(Then Mr Chong heard an explosion from far away)
Mr Chong: Eh, it's the same explosion! The terrorist strike again! When I find him, I will definitely give him 5 detention straightaway!
(Mr Chong take taxi)
Mr Chong: Take me to Escape Theme Park now!
Taxi driver: Escape Theme Park? For what?
Mr Chong: For what? For fun lah! I go play then I go catch the terrorist!
Taxi driver: Eh sir, everyone hear the explosion go Changi Airport run away liao! You still want play!
Mr Chong: During school time, I am Mr Chong, the biology teacher! During terrorist attacks, I am Mr Chong, the police officer! When I am in a good mood, I am Mr Chong, the funny man! You want money or not? You want money, you drive me to Escape now!
Taxi driver: Crazy lah you! Who want your money!
(The taxi driver kicks Mr Chong out of the car and drives away)
Mr Chong: What the hell! I give you 2 detention for kicking teacher! F**ker!
(Ying Kang appears)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, plaay Chinese Chess! I own you! Come! Scared lose is it? Chinese Chess noob! You know I will 将 you straightaway right!
Mr Chong: Shut up! Or I will give you 2 detention! Force teacher to play Chinese Chess with you!
YingKang: You smart ah! Give detention got all kind of reasons one! Don't play with you liao lah! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Mr Chong died of a heart attack)
YingKang: Let's see how you give detention lah! Stupid noob! Next time I don't use pork kill you! I use my 将军 kill you! Pork pork PSP ahahahahahahaha!
[Mr Chong has failed his mission to catch the terrorist]
[We do not know what has happened to Nattapork]

Moral:
Mr. Chong = FAIL.

Finished or not, I don't know

SCRIPT #21 (Suhayo's script)

2009-06-29T21:53:00.002+08:00

Ran out of stories so here is one by Suhayo, with some edits.

("Low-Key" Ley was giving Game and Nattapork some XXXL extra SSP as they did not come to school on the first day of term 3)
Low-Key Ley: On the first day of school, I taught the rest the whole of Chapter 7 and 8 in 60 seconds. Now I want you to read the textbook on Units 7 and 8. You should be done in 10 seconds.
GameFAQ: Huh, Mr Ley, that means Revision Exercise 7 and 8 all need do ah? The Try It, the other exercise all need do ah?
Low-Key Ley: Yes, and I expect you to know everything. You should finish all of them in 10 seconds.
GameFAQ: Siao la, Mr Ley! So many questions 10 seconds?! What the fuck?
Nattapork: Tiam la, let me do lah! Mr Ley Mr Ley, Question 1(a) how do?
Low-Key Ley: You should finish it in one step. I don't want to spoon-feed you. I will let you try it first. It's so easy, don't tell me you cannot do it in one step?
Nattapork: I also dunno what they talking! What (10x847) km + 99 m to the power of 34? how I know?
Low-Key Ley: If you cannot do such an easy question, then you have no hope at your common test. I give you a clue, okay? First clue: Write on the foolscap paper.
GameFAQ: Chey! Mr Ley, no kick lah! Foolscap nia! He ask about the question, not how to write the question!
Low-Key Ley: I am waiting for all of you to keep quiet and do your own work.
GameFAQ: Mr Ley, you damn stupid lah. Only 2 students here, need to use "all of you" meh?
(Suddenly Mr Yeo enters the class)
Mr Yeo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
GameFAQ: Ya, then you very blunt lah!
Mr Yeo: DUN BE AN ASS! You come to school to do work, not to talk back at teachers! What have you learnt at school?
GameFAQ: Ya la ya la I learn that you are an ass! Anyhow scratch people car then run away! Stupid! Only fat idiots do such things!
Nattapork: Eh, but then how Mr Yeo come here? He in jail leh!
Low-Key Ley: Uh, excuse me ah, Mr Yeo, but I am having a lesson with these 2 students... Can you come back to check on them later? You are disturbing my class.
Mr Yeo: Let me ask you, Low-Key. You got hear them complaining about me interrupting your class? No right? Ya! So I'm not interrupting! Don't be an ASS!
Low-Key Ley: Actually I can argue with you, but I can only argue for 5 seconds. Because I'm too fast! Mr Yeo, you are "FAST" without the "S". You are "FAT"!
Mr Yeo: (take out demerit form) Fill this form up! Huh? Never hand up Book 3! I wait one week already! You still haven't hand up!
GameFAQ: Eh Nattapork. They arguing leh, let's zao.
Nattapork: Wait la, lame! I finish Try It 1 first.
GameFAQ: Walau you like that lah!
Mr Yeo: Low-Key, I'm not trying to reason with you, but you are such an ASS! If you have done something wrong, then you should OWN UP!
Low-Key Ley: You leh? Scratch people car, knock down people, still run! You then OWN UP lah!
Mr Yeo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
Low-Key Ley: Ya, then you very blunt lah!
(Then got one police officer come into the class)
Policeman: Finally found you! (arrest Mr Yeo) Trying to run away from court isit? I know you surely come here one! You hide I also know one!
Mr Yeo: Oei! Low-Key! I want Book 3 to be in the cupboard by 3.30p.m. ah? Is that clear?
Policeman: Oei, Philipine Yeo! You haven't hand in your police statement yet! Still tell others to hand up homework? I want the police statement to be in by 2.30p.m. is that clear?
Mr Yeo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
Policeman: Ya, then you very blunt lah!
(The policeman drag Mr Yeo away)
Low-Key Ley: Okay, back to the lesson... Eh, where is Game?
Nattapork: Dunno leh, but he tell me he going to pon the lesson!
Low-Key Ley: Game Fang Ah Quan! How dare you escape my 5-second class!
(Then Game came back in again)
GameFAQ: ZzZz, go toilet nia, need to be so dramatic meh?
Low-Key Ley: Dun complain, just do your work. You one day never come, you miss out a lot already.
GameFAQ: One day nia. School quarantine me not my fault!
Nattapork: Just do your work lah, lame!
GameFAQ: DUN WAN LEH!
Nattapork: (shout damn loud) GAME FANG AH QUAN!
(Nothing happened to Game except his hair all turn white)
GameFAQ: See teacher he verbal bully me, plus make my hair white.
Low-Key Ley: So? It is not my problem! You want to be like Miker Jackson is it? He make his skin white, you make your hair white, got any difference? You are being a nuisance. I am going to report to your form teacher. (Take out handphone and call Danny Chiw)
(Danny Chiw arrives at the class)
Mr Chiw: So, what is my problem?
Low-Key Ley: This boy ah, very noisy. He is disturbing the class.
Mr Chiw: I know, he in my class also very noisy. Kelvin Ho, you better behave. Don't think you are taller than me, bigger than me, means I'm scared of you!
GameFAQ: Walau, talk to you like talking to a 10-year old boy like that. Waste time!
Mr Chiw: Don't make me become sarcastic and say you are being polite to me. Also, what have I been saying about the attitude and posture? Look at the way you are sitting now!
GameFAQ: WHAT is your PROBLEM? (FAIL)
Mr Chiw: It's you! you are my problem! I think I should try issuing out demerit forms.
GameFAQ: Issue then issue lah! No kick! I tio caning liao, I scared what!
Mr Chiw: If you try to be stubborn and argue with me, don't make me become sarcastic and say you won't cause the rise in sea level.
Nattapork: Walau... Lame! You all arguing how I do my Try It 1?
Mr Chiw: Nattapork, when I am talking you do not talk.
Nattapork: My Try It 1 got problem liao you all still disturb!
Low-Key Ley: Actually, you can ask what. What is the teacher for?
Nattapork: Then you say you dun want spoon-feed what crap!
Low-Key Ley: I say I dun want spoon-feed you, but I never say I don't want to help you right? Why I use spoon to feed you? You have hands what.
Nattapork: WALAU! WHAT THE HELL! DAMN LAH! BODY SLAM!

Imagine, just imagine...

Ya, Nattapork's Body Slam

Nattapork: Haha! Tio owned! さよなら!
(Meanwhile at the General Office)
Mr Chong: Eh you got feel volcano eruption?
Thanasilam MK: Dun hav lerh! Whye yoo alwais muzt sae volkanoe elupsion?
Mr Chong: Maybe got terrorist in our school. As the policeman of the school, I shall handle it myself. You all stay back. See how i pro do.

TO BE CONTINUED.
Eh sorry dunno how continue for now.
Will continue in Part 2 (Script 22)

SCRIPT #20 (Argument of the Week)

2009-06-22T14:20:00.002+08:00

Holiday nothing think about so I thought of a random story. Contributed by Suharyo.

(Mr. Chiw and Mrs. Mil were new facilitators for the Sec 3 Leadership Camp. [LadderSHIT Cramp]
Babi Bobby: Okay you can start straightaway! Mr. Chiw, you take Group 2A, and Mrs. Mil, you take 2B. Okay? Cool? Okay go.
Mr. Chiw: Okay, mark attendance! Keluhn Ho...
Keluhn: Here!
Mr. Chiw: Did I tell you to talk? Huh, Kelvin Ho?
Keluhn: Teacher, you say mark attendance, you call my name, I say here la!
Mr. Chiw: During assembly, I mark attendance, you got talk? Dun have right? So, keep your mouth shut. Don't make me become sarcastic and say you will pass NAPFA with flying colours.
Keluhn: (angry) Oei Mr. Chiw! This kind of mark attendance is different la, you know or not!
Mr. Chiw: KELVIN HO! Don't think you are taller than me, bigger than me, means I am scared of you! Who is the teacher here?
Keluhn: Got teacher here meh? Orh... you teacher hor.
Mr. Chiw: Wah, finally found out there's a teacher here is it?
Mrs. Mil: STOP TALKING! Use your logic lah, gentlemen! You talk so much, just like girls! I will ask the girls to lend you their skirts so you can talk more.
Keluhn: What kind of camp is this? Noobshit camp! Kanina this camp lah!
Mr. Chiw: WHAT is your PROBLEM? You think you are very large isit?
Mrs. Mil: Where is your logic, where's your concept? You never apply concept, how can use logic?
Keluhn: WHAT THE FUCK LAH KANINA!! Bloody logic!
Mr. Chiw: Yes, what the fuck! WTF! Way Too Fat!
Keluhn: Damn you lah, I go eat the fucking lunch liao, jibai!
Mr. Chiw: Kelvin Ho, stop right there!
Mrs. Mil: STOP WALKING! Come here, I teach you logic and concept!
Keluhn: DUN WAN LEH!
(Mr. Chiw and Mrs. Mil and the rest of the Group 2 followed Keluhn who refused to stop)
[After they sat down]
Keluhn: Where is the kanina food? Noobshit!
Mr. Chiw: Kelvin Ho, you think you are very small right? Eat so much!
Mrs. Mil: How can you not know the Molecular Mass of Mars without logic?
Other Group 2: What is going on?!
Babi Bobby: Hey hey hey, what happened? Relax lah, people! This is a fun camp!
Mr. Chiw: Ah, very good you're here, Bobby. This small little boy is being a nuisance!
Keluhn: Small little boy? Go die lah, I am 4 times bigger than you leh, still what little boy!
Mr. Chiw: Ya lah!! You know already still eat like so much, fatass! WHAT is your PROBLEM?
Keluhn: Cannot ah? What is your PROBLEM?
Mr. Chiw: You lah, you lah! Take my quote! You are VERY SMART!
Mrs. Mil: STOP TALKING! Stop being such an idiot, use your logic!
Babi Bobby: EH YOU ALL FUCKING TIAM! This day camp emphasizes on teamwork. If you cannot even TALK PROPERLY, THEN THERE'S NO HOPE FOR YOU! Group 2, noisiest group right? YOU WILL EAT LAST! YOU WILL SERVE AND SEE PEOPLE EAT!
Keluhn: Eh what the shit? I damn hungry leh! Bloody pork!
Babi Bobby: You still dare say pork ah? Group 2 DUN NEED EAT! You sit there and see me eat in front of your face!
Group 2: Eh walau what the hell Kelvin! walau crap no lah damn
Babi Bobby: Mr. Danny Chiw, Mrs. Htebazile Mil and KELVIN HO! Go stand on the table!
(Mr. Chiw, Mrs. Mil, and Keluhn stood on the table)
Babi Bobby: Tuck in your bloody shirt! You want play games with me right? Nehmind, I can play with you! Everyone, see how stupid these people are! They play with me, I make sure they suffer!
Keluhn: Walau kanina lah!
Babi Bobby: You want to go down and eat right? Fine, okay. But you must give me your group cheer. Come on, anybody!
[Group 2 realises that they still don't have a cheer yet]
Babi Bobby: What, no cheer? Danny Chiw, you come up with a cheer!
Mr. Chiw: WHAT is your PROBLEM? Do you think I am good with making cheers? Okay laa, I am VERY GOOD at making cheers and I am NOT trying to be sarcastic!
{Sarcasm level up! [256] Rank up! [Lord of Sarcasm] Add Hero Skill! [OmniSarcasm Slash] 9001 Sarcasm skillpoints acquired!}
Mr. Chiw: Yes! I have OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!!! skillpoints!
Babi Bobby: I have enough of your sarcastic shit. Mrs. Mil, you do it.
Mrs. Mil: Aiyo, Bobby, use your logic, use your concept! I how old, can I do a cheer? Come on! If you use your logic and say that I'm very old, then your conceptual knowledge will tell you that I can only do Chemistry!
Babi Bobby: Okay, you dun want right? Kelvin Ho, you do.
Keluhn: Okay lah, you want a cheer, I give you tongue twister cheer!

Babi Bobby went to the barber to get some babi ribs and bobby thought that babi ribs were Barbie dolls so he said he didnt want bloody Barbie dolls and wanted babi ribs but the barber said babi is pork and not barbie and he should buy some bloody ones as they are fresh but Babi Bobby still wanted the 'real' babi ribs and still thought that babi was barbie and so left the place and the barber said he wasnt a butcher and punched babi bobby in the balls and thus ended the issue of babi and barbie by killing babi bobby! [Say as fast as you can, more fun]

Babi Bobby: What the hell? You dare to insult me! F**ker!
(Then Ying Kang appeared on the table)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, let's play Chinese Chess! Wah, very nice, got table, so let's play here, come!
Babi Bobby: Eh what the hell lah? Who are you?
YingKang: I am the King of Kings of Chinese Chess! Don't try to beat me!
Babi Bobby: What is this piece of paper?
YingKang: That is the battleground lah, pork! You can don't play Chinese Chess, but you cannot disrespect it!
Babi Bobby: I fucking Malay, dun nid to respect CHYNA piece of shit! Pooi! (Spit on paper)
YingKang: How dare you disrespect the ancient battleground! I will use the forces of all my chess pieces! And own you! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Everyone at the canteen died, except Babi Bobby)
Babi Bobby: Hahahahahaha! I am babi, you cannot kill me!
YingKang: Orh, okay. You want babi ribs?
Babi Bobby: DUN WAN LEH! Babi ribs are like Barbie dolls! So suck!
YingKang: PSP lah you! I am the barber lah!
(YingKang the barber who is proclaiming to be not the butcher punched bloody Babi Bobby in his battered balls and ended the issue of the bloody babi and Barbie by killing the bloody Babi Bobby) [Say as fast as you can]

THE END?
well, that was weird. But please respect CHYNA ancient paper battleground and tongue twisters
Or else get punched in the balls.
If you r girl, then sorry get punch in the face.

Ying Kang in Joker Mode

2009-05-21T20:55:00.002+08:00

Yes finally here is Ying Kang in Joker Mode:

Ying Kang will activate this mode when he is doing anything else unrelated to Chinese Chess or the terms 兵, 车, 马, 炮, 士, 帅, 将, 率, 相, 象, or 将军. During this time, all he can do is to say "Pork pork ahahahaha" or "Cindy veh hot" or any other phrases that makes no sense to the others. He is also infamous for his newly-discovered term "PSP" which he obtained by combining "Playstation Portable" along with other obscene stuff. The personality of this mode is that when other people use his own joke against him, he will probably reply with "walau 你们想歪! 不要在说了啦!" BE ADVISED! in this mode, he is unaffected by the word 'f**ker', so people should call him f**ker as many times as they can, before he goes back into General Mode. Ying Kang is totally harmless in this mode, but the repetition of 'f**ker' may just bring him into Super Saiyan mode immediately.
*Just kidding. Call him f**ker as many times as you like it.

See the first picture. Ying Kang is like totally smiling and totally different from General Mode. lol

SCRIPT #19 (The Most Epic Battle EVAR)

2009-05-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

Concluding the final episode of the Suhari-Yeo Thana-Chew MK Thalib Mil story.

***IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT YOU WATCH THE FOLLOWING VIDEO BEFORE CONTINUING***

(Season 2 of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was better)

Following the previous episode...
(Suhayo and YingKang just finished off Soma.)

Suhayo: 这个就是没有用 logic and concept 的结果! Haha noob!
YingKang: Ya lor ya lor PSP pork pork! Hot hot ahahahaha!
Suhayo: 刚才我们这些 pro 的要去哪里啊? Oh ya, Cheng Joon!
YingKang: Come on Suhayo let's go fight him!
(Suhayo and YingKang went to E33 and saw Cheng Joon and Bernard fighting)
Cheng Joon: Walueouau! Jhipai lah!
Bernard: You don't go anywhere shouting your "Jhipai jhipai" anywhere hor! You think you very pro isit? Your intellectual level is currently not as high-level as me!
Cheng Joon: Yah lahs yar larhs! Tok seou much ruppish!
[If you can get a translator for Cheng Joon, it would be great]
Suhayo: Who is the one fighting? OWN UP!
Bernard: Aiya you tiam lah you! I can't believe I am actually arguing with a bunch of low-intellect beings! You're simply demoralising my IQ growth rate!
Suhayo: Why you say me tiam? Only I can say people tiam, so you tiam!
Bernard: Anyone can say tiam lah, you think you very pro is it? "Tiam" is a word in Chinese Dialect. People not of Chinese race also know what that means. See, I look like Malay, I still know what is "tiam", right?
Suhayo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
Bernard: Ya, so you very blunt lah? Haha stupid noob...
Suhayo: You say me noob right? You say me noob right? 你不可救药了! 你的死亡能把世界变成一个更完善的地方! You die! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars!
(Bernard became blind, deaf and mute.)
YingKang: Waaa... Suhayo! Mai siao siao! (Hokkien)
Suhayo: Of course! 有我这种 pro 的, 怕什么?
Cheng Joon: Waleuouau! Yoo arl veri kaopi leh!
Suhayo: I just save you from an argument you still scold me!
Cheng Joon: Nex tyme noo wun arguie wif mi liao lor! Booshit! F**ker!
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down! Play Chinese Chess! I will own you like siao! 车马将, 双炮将, I all use! I show you my true skill!
Cheng Joon: Wut der hill? Ii oso nivir plae wun! Dun be pok laah, neegir!
YingKang: You call me f**ker, call me pork, I nevermind. You still call me nigger! You really want die? Then I will make you happy! You will die! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Cheng Joon didn't die of a heart attack.)
YingKang: What the hell? How come? PSP PSP pork pork hot!
Suhayo: Aiya, he pork what, how can affect him! Where's your logic, where's your concept? Why never apply concept?
YingKang: Shardup la Suhayo, go kill him lah!
Suhayo: 现在我们是同党, 我不跟你算帐! 等一下你就完蛋! (turn to Cheng Joon) Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(Cheng Joon's arms didn't twist and break, and he didn't die.)
Suhayo: Eh? 他 resist 我的 pro ulti! 难道他比我 pro?
YingKang: Cheng Joon is a loser retard lah! He where got logic? You use logic, he also won't die! Use your logic lah!
Suhayo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
YingKang: Ya, then you very blunt!
Suhayo: 没关系, 我还有更多 ulti! 看召! (breath in) Mr. Yeo's ulti... DON'T BE AN ASS!
(Cheng Joon didn't grow until he exploded.)
Suhayo: Eh? Mr. Chew Level 249 Sarcasm ulti... YOU ARE SO THIN AND SO SMART!
(Cheng Joon didn't die of excessive fat/fuel combustion and brain tumour.)
Suahyo: What the heck? Mr. Ng ulti... GO SEE THE LOCKER AND WASH YOUR HANDS IN SOUP AND WARKER!
(Cheng Joon didn't went to the locker to kill himself, nor did he put his hands into boiling soup and acid to corrode his hands.)
Suhayo: Still got Thanasilam's ulti! I WILL KANE YOO! SUCK IT!
(Cheng Joon didn't take off his pants to get whipped in the ass and die of intense anal pain.)
Suhayo: Oh shit! Oh shit! 只剩下一个 ulti! 只好用了! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars! YES ANOT?
(Cheng Joon didn't become blind, deaf and mute.)
Cheng Joon: It's a compound!
Suhayo: What compound what shit!
YingKang: He is more powerful than me! I dun want to fight him! I scared lose! He is so retarded that he did not understand whatever you said, so all your ulti failed! Cindy hot!
Suhayo: 不用紧, YingKang! Let's combine our ulti! Wait until I evolve first!

***WATCH THE VISUALISATION OF SUHAYO'S EVOLUTION***

(Just a visualisation, it doesn't mean he's a Vibrava, lol)

Suhari-Yeo: I am Suhari-Yeo Thana-Chew MK Thalib Mil! I want to learn Logic Attack. But I cannot learn more than 4 moves. Should I delete a move to learn Logic Attack?
YingKang: Yes! Delete Concept Beam! Not good one!
Suhari-Yeo: 1, 2... and POOF! I forgot Concept Beam, and learnt Logic Attack! Now, YingKang! We must combine ulti!

***WATCH THE DIRECTOR'S IMPRESSION OF ULTI-SUMMONING***

(It is advised that you watch throught the whole thing. See how the director used his concept and thought of these scenes!)

Cheng Joon: Wut der hill? I dont evin knoe wut you doing lah! Tok kok!
(Suhari-Yeo and YingKang were in the Porkzord)
Suhari-Yeo: You don't need to know what we doing. I've been teaching for 40 years, I know the mistakes you students make. Now, die!

***WATCH THE RESULT OF THE COMBINATION OF ULTI***

Cheng Joon: Whut der faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..............
BOOM!
(Cheng Joon got obiterated.)
Suhayo: Yes! 终于 gao dim! In the end, we are still the pro!
YingKang: Pork pork ahahahaha! PSP PSP Cindy Cindy hot! Ahahahahaha!

CONCLUSION: With Cheng Joon gone, peace was restored to the planet. It was then Suhayo found out that acting pro is nothing, but he must act pro with someone else to make himself look more superior, especially teaming up with YingKang, who acts like a mad man. It was then that Suhayo went around looking like a Flygon and in a Megazord with a Turbine Laser.

Moral:
-Don't be an Ass
-Own up
-Hand in your Book 3 by 3:30 p.m.
-Suha-Yeo was retained in school for 40 years
-Foo Chuan Qing has long transferred out of the school
-YingKang is mad.

Suhayo says, "I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out..."
Ya, then you very blunt la

TEH END

Watch this =)

2009-05-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

This video remind me of my childhood past time Lol.I still think power ranger rock xD.

SCRIPT #18 (SHRYTNCMKTM)

2009-05-08T21:42:00.004+08:00

Weird title, but the DotA-player-killer knows it, or anything.
SuHaRi-Yeo ThaNa-Chew MK Thalib Mil

following the previous episode...
Suhayo has just finished off the policeman

Suhayo: So, now you have learnt the Molecular Mass of Mars. Yes anot? Muahahahahaha!
(Suhayo goes to Mr. Yeo's disemebered body.)
Suhayo: Aha, thanks to YingKang, I have the power to suck his life energy! (sucks life energy) Yes! I feel very good! Now to find the person who did not hand in his Book 3!
(Meanwhile)
SYS: Ah! Now I own you! w00t! Centaur kill your zombie! Aha!
(Suhayo appears.)
Suhayo: What you all talking about? Dota right? Then you die!
SYS: What Dota? No one play liao lah! Noob! We talking about Magic lah!
Suhayo: Don't be an Ass! Dota so many people play, you say no one play?
SYS: You see lah! E34 and E33 all playing Magic/ Yu-Gi-Oh/ Duel Masters, no one play Dota!
Suhayo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out...
SYS: Ya, then you very blunt lah! Tiam!
Suhayo: Only I can say people tiam. Don't be an Ass!
SYS: You then ass lah, bitch! Go play your Dota lah! Can't even own!
Suhayo: Eh, I got leh! I 1v1 you, you still lose! Aha!
SYS: That one is you saboh me one lor! You tell me go take the other way, then the golem kill me! Noob!
Suhayo: You say me noob right? You say me noob right? Okay, you die! I will teach you the Molecular Mass of Mars!!!
SYS: What Mars what mass? Dunno dun talk la noob!
Suhayo: 你这个低级的人, 竟敢骂我 noob! 不得不让你死! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars!
(SYS became blind, deaf and mute.)
Suhayo: 我留你去死算了!
(SYS walked around and tried to shout but failed.)
Suhayo: Ha! 我是可怜你才这么做得! 别怪我! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic~!
(SYS' head, arms and legs twisted and he died.)
Suhayo: Ahahahahaha! Now to suck his life force! I can get his pro-DotA skills!
(Mr. Chiw came along and saw what happened.)
Mr. Chiw: Suhayo, what did you just do?
Suhayo: I used my logic and applied the concept.
Mr. Chiw: No, I mean why did you kill SYS? I saw you!
Suhayo: Because I use my power what. It's all logic, all concept! Yes anot?
Mr. Chiw: Your grammar skills are very good.
Suhayo: Eh, Mr. Chiw, I detect a hint of sarcasm in your words!
Mr. Chiw: Don't make me become sarcastic and say you can make it to O-levels.
Suhayo: Mr. Chiw! What you doing? Trying to be sarcastic is it?
Mr. Chiw: If you want I can also be ironic. I can get arrested for shoplifting and then tell you "Don't shoplift" the next day. Is that applicable to you?
Suhayo: Then I become an Ass then say "don't be an Ass" can anot?
Mr. Chiw: What are you trying to imply?
Suhayo: That you are an Ass!
Mr. Chiw: WHAT is your PROBLEM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Suhayo: Walau Mr. Chiw, why shout at me? I more pro leh!
Mr. Chiw: This is the LAST time I'm telling you! WIPE that SMILE off your FACE!!!!!
Suhayo: Dun wan leh! Where's your logic, where's your concept?
Mr. Chiw: Stop trying to imitate those whom you can't!
Suhayo: Is that sarcasm? I'm tired of your sarcasm! Your sarcasm level 248 liao, I hack your account lor! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(Mr. Chiw's head, arms and legs twisted and he died.)
Suhayo: Now to suck his life force! And get his sarcasm!
(Mr. Ng and Thanasilam MK came along and saw what happened.)
Mr. Ng: Wut ar yoo daying?
Thanasilam MK: Yoo keel a man! I can KANE yoo, yoo kno!
Suhayo: DUN WAN LEH!!!!!!
Mr. Ng: Ar yoo traying too be a bard student? I giv yoo dedenshen!
Suhayo: Don't be an Ass! If you can't speak English, don't say English! Noob!
Mr. Ng: Is it bekos of H1N1 tat yoo are actting strengely? You go si the locker!
Suhayo: WHAT is your PROBLEM? Don't speak noob English lah! You will drag me down!
Thanasilam MK: Oei! Dun tok too a ticher like tat! Iee keel yoo!
Suhayo: 找死是吗? Want me kill you?
Mr. Ng: Eh, go too de toylett and wass yur hands in soup and warker!
Suhayo: Dun wan leh~!
Thanasilam MK: Tat is IT! Yoo are comin wit me, young boii! (grabs Suhayo's hands)
Suhayo: BLOODY BANGLADOG! DONT TOUCH ME! this is the LAST time I'm warning you! Don't force me!
Thanasilam MK: Yoo den dun forse mii! Imma goin' too KANE yoo!
Suhayo: No one can cane me! I so pro, who dare cane me who die! Don't make me use my ulti!
Mr. Ng: Lissen too his words! Go wit heem!
Suhayo: Tiam la you! Why you command me? I have no choice, use my ulti! DONT BE AN ASS~!
(Mr. Ng and Thanasilam MK started to grow so fat until they exploded.)
Suhayo: Ahahahaha! I suck their life force!
(Mr. Thaliban came along and saw what happened.)
Thaliban: What is it that you are doing?
Suhayo: NO BUTS! Don't make me use my Level 248 Sarcasm ulti! You want is it? Okay, YOU ARE SO THIN AND FIT YOU DON'T BREAK YOUR BONES!
(Thaliban died the opposite way. He suddenly became even more fat and his nose started leaking oil. His bones shattered within his body and he died of mass skeletal fracture.)
Suhayo: Ahahahaha! More life force!
(Mrs Mil came along and saw what happened.)
Mrs Mil: What is that? What are you doing? Stop talking! I don't give notes isit! I don't care!
Suhayo: Eh what the hell you damn noisy leh!
Mrs Mil: Where is your logic? Why never apply concept? Use your common sense! What is your skill? Huh? The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars. Yes anot? You are in Sec 3 already! Still talk so much! I ask the girls to give you their skirts so guys can talk more. Yes anot? Why never... ...
Suhayo: Eh, you damn f**king noisy leh! You want fight my logic is it? Don't be an Ass! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars! You are so BIG and NOT NOISY! (sarcasm) I will KANE yoo! Go see the locker and wash your hand in soup and warker! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!!
(Mrs Mil became blind, deaf and mute, her head, arms and legs twisted, got a heart attack, suddenly contracted brain cancer, became a vegetable, died in an opposite way of becoming so small till she was a molecule and her mouth talked so much till she suffered from rapid oral reflex action illness. Finally, Suhayo stepped on her and she died.)
[ALL ULTI USE LOL]
Suhayo: Finally, I can suck the life force of Mrs Mil, who created me! I will have double the power! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
(Just then Soma came along.)
Soma: Walau Suhayo, Cheng Joon is being a bitch in E33!
Suhayo: Aiya, 这种小事情, NO KICK! 来吧, 让我!
Soma: Eh, I help you become hero leh! Never tahnk me!
Suhayo: 我还没去打, 就变成 hero 了吗? I so pro, don't need thank you one lah!
Soma: You like that lah, f**ker!
(YingKang finally appears.)
YingKang: Fag you lah Soma, so long never say f**ker! I hide at Cindy's house so long you know or not? By the way, you call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? You die! Let's play Chinese Chess! I will kill you man! 飞将, 车马将, 双炮将, 双马将, 双车将, 双兵将, 车兵将, 酸柑汁, all come lah!
Soma: Okay lah! Let's fight. 你懂这个叫什么吗? 我在威胁我的命在跟你玩!
YingKang: Okay, I show my true skill!
(Soma and YingKang played while Suhayo stood beside as Advisor again.)
[Soma was just one step from winning...]
YingKang: Oh no, I forgot I got MSP\NCC cannot play already! Come, Suhayo let's go fight Cheng Joon!
Soma: Eh! Eh! What the fak! Eh! 我走多一次就赢了! Oei! Kanina! 跑掉! 怕输的, oei! Loser!
YingKang: I really have MSP lah! You ask MeeSiam lah! Pork! Let's go Suhayo!
Soma: LOSER NOOB! F**KER CHEEBII!
YingKang: Suhayo let's use all our ulti at him!
Suhayo: AH! 我是 pro 的, 我有 >7 的 ulti! 不用怕! Test 在 Soma 上面先!
YingKang: Okay let's do it man! Pork pork PSP ahahaha!
(YingKang and Suhayo teleport to beside Soma.)
Soma: OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued
The final chapter of Suhayo saga LOL

SCRIPT #17 (Wrath of The Noob)

2009-04-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

Due to Microsoft Word's problems, cannot post all at one go. So one by one, day by day. Here's your script, Script Freako Pervert Noob DotA-player-killer.

(following the previous script...)
Suhayo: Haha! Now to kill every DotA player!
(The next day, in school...)
EijNuj: Haha Suhayo noob! Use ulti all miss! Noob!
Soma: Ya la, where is he ah? We can 酸 him!
GnehsGnoy: Eh you all talking what ah?
Soma: What else? DotA LAH!
(Suhayo appears.)
Suhayo: You say DotA right? You say DotA right? Come! Sit down! I play with you! I use my ulti!
GnehsGnoy: Huh WTF you use ulti all miss still want talk cock what shit lah! Noob at DotA!
Suhayo: You want play with me? I use my ulti you die liao! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(GnehsGnoy head, arms and legs twisted and he died.)
EijNuj: Eh he say you noob nia, you need kill him meh?
Suahyo: You see lah? You play with me, you suffer!
EijNuj: You then suffer ah! You so noob, ulti all miss, use twin-head dragon also use until like fuck like that!
Suhayo: You want to know logic is it? I let you choose lah! Logic, concept, common sense and skill. Choose one, I teach you lah!
EijNuj: DUN WAN LEH! Noob!
Suhayo: 你这种人, 死都不认输! 我也那你没办法了! 你的死期到了! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(EijNuj's head, arms and legs twisted and he died. Soma ran off in fear.)
Suahyo: Muahahahahahaha! Fear me!
(Meanwhile)
Soma: What the FAK Suhayo killed GnehsGnoy and EijNuj!
Keluhn: Ya ya right!
Soma: Really! He spam logic then they 2 die!
Keluhn: Yes anot? All logic! All contracept!
Soma: Not funny lah! Also not contracept! We just talking DotA then Suhayo come...
(Suhayo appears.)
Suhayo: You say DotA right? You say DotA right? Come! Sit down! I play with you! I use noob character ulti own you!
Soma: AH! Zao zao zao! (runs off)
Keluhn: I also never play DotA! You tell me for what? I play Gunz nia!
Suhayo: Ah, Gunz level what?
Keluhn: Higher than you leh! You never play lah, noob!
(Suahyo gave Keluhn a Fury Swipes attack.)
Suhayo: 为什么 waste 我的 time? Huh?
Keluhn: I also never hit you! You hit me for what? Violence!
Suahyo: It's all logic, all concept! You just have to apply the concept, yes anot?
Keluhn: It's NOT leh!
Suahyo: 你就是死性不改, 完蛋了! 我只好用我的 second ulti! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars. Because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars. Yes anot?
(By this time, Keluhn has become blind, deaf and mute.)
Suhayo: 我可以一刀杀了你, 但是看你这种 low-class 的情况, 就理你去死吧! (disappears)
(Now, all the newspaper headlines all talk about a serial kiler roaming around, breaking people's bones using the Thaliban style. Also, Keluhn's face is in the obituary section.)
[In school]
(Everyone knows what will Suhayo do to them if they say/play DotA, so they tiam.)
{Okay, not evreryone knew that.}
YonZeng: Eh Soma! Today can anot?
Soma: Do what?
YonZeng: DotA lah!
Soma: OH SHIT DON'T SAY...!
(Suhayo appears, and Soma runs off. Again.)
Suhayo: You say DotA right? You say DotA right? Come and sit down! I own you using my ulti!
YonZeng: Sit then sit lah! (sits on the floor) Then, now what?
Suhayo: Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(YonZeng's head, arms and legs twisted and he died.)
[Even non-DotA players were hit due to coincidental scenarios...]
Random boy: Auntie auntie! 给我两条 otah!
Auntie: 什么 dota?
DEAD
Random boy: Teacher teacher! Can repeat the formula again? I dun understand!
Teacher: Of course can! First, you take x + y = 0, then use the formula, x + y = a + 9.6x, where a is a decimal, so use it as Dot-A Theorem. Remember, it is given by ".a", okay ah? I write on the board ah, copy it down on your notes!
Random boy: Teacher teacher! If quickly say then become "dota" liao!
DEAD
Random boy: Mother mother! Today cook what for dinner?
Mother: 今天我做了你最喜欢喝的红豆汤!
DEAD (sounds like DotA anyway)
China boy: 小明小明! 我问你, 如果我说 drrop iit, 你会怎么翻译过来啊?
小明: Uh... 掉它?
China boy: 哈, 中计... ...
DEAD
[The police was impressed with Suhayo's clean work in killing and decided to hire him as the death sentence]
Policeman: Okay, Mr. Yeo, you want to get out of jail, we will tell you what to do.
Mr. Yeo: Don't be an Ass! You want to tell me something, say it! Let's not waste time, shall we?
Policeman: To get out of that stringed jacket, we require you to say these words, as shown on the screen. Read it slowly or quickly, I don't care. I'm transmitting the signal over now.
(The word "Dota" appeared on the screen.)
Mr. Yeo: So this is the only word?
Policeman: Unfortunately, no. Read it so I can see how your limbs get twisted in that stringed jacket.
Mr. Yeo: But first! I would like to see these people...
Policeman: Quick! Don't waste time!
Mr. Yeo: Don't be an Ass! I would not want to embarrass you, Inspector Jon.
Policeman: You want to be free and continue teaching maths, right? Say it then!
Mr. Yeo: HOLD IT! My Book 3, all not handed up yet! I need them to be in the locker by 3.30pm ah?
Policeman: Wah WTF... Say it then all the Book 2, book 3, whatever shit book all in the locker lah!
Mr. Yeo: I've been teaching for 40 years, I know the mistakes you students make.
Policeman: Please, Mr. Yeo, I beg of you. Say THE WORD.
Mr. Yeo: Fine! But after that, see me after school! I may not know your name, but I know your face. You cannot run away from me. Urmmm... the word is "dota"! So I am ready to teach?
(Suhayo appears.)
Suhayo: You say DotA right? You say DotA right? Come! Sit down! I play with you! I use my ulti!
Mr. Yeo: Do not be distracted, and continue with the lesson.
Policeman: Quick, Mr. Yeo! Say the next word on the screen!
Mr. Yeo: Don't be an...
Policeman: SAY IT! DON'T WASTE TIME! YOU'RE IN DANGER! SAY THE WORD!
Mr. Yeo: Fine, but see me after...
Policeman: TIAM! SAY THE WORD!
Mr. Yeo: I've been teaching for 40...
Policeman: SAY IT YOU BITCH! BEFORE SUHAYO EXECUTES HIS MOVE!
Mr. Yeo: I may not know your...
POLICEMAN: FUCK YOU MR. YEO! AND YOUR INABILITY TO FOLLOW ORDERS!
Mr. Yeo: Fine! I'll say it! The word is so simple! It is "noob"! So, happy?
[Suhayo has been interrupted from his charging by the word "noob"]
Suhayo: You say DotA, now you also say me noob! I pro one, why should I let some low-class bastard call me noob! I combine powers! You die! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic! The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars and because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars! YES ANOT?!

(Mr. Yeo became blind, deaf, mute and paralysed, his head, arms and legs twisted, his eyeballs start protruding out of their sockets, his nails started prying off by itself, his dick was crushed by an unknown force, his respiratory system screwed up and all the air in his lungs started coming out, his chest was ripped and his heart comes out, his tongue was seemingly burned, his stomach exploded, his ears started to swell and finally he died.)

Policeman: Holycrap! That was cool! Thanks, Suhayo! Today's payment is in the Personnel Room! You ownself go take!
Suhayo: 这种东西只有 PRO 可以做的! 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!
Policeman:Tomorrow I go get another prisoner!
Suhayo: Okay, 再见! (disppears)
(The policeman received a call.)
Policeman: Hello? Ah Seng ah? 没有啦, 没玩了啦... ... 哈, 真的啊? 你用 centaur 打败他? 哈哈, noob sia!
(Suhayo appears.)
Suhayo: 你在说什么 game ah?
Policeman: What else, DotA lah! ...OH SHIT!

THE END
LOL! Mr. Yeo

SCRIPT #16 (New character OMG OMG)

2009-04-01T21:06:00.004+08:00

Following the last episode...

YingKang: Okay veh good! We are in this hidden poisition! We are away from the police! Pork! What the hell! I run from Geylang to Punggol then they still catch up! What the hell?
Suhayo: YingKang, 要不要喝水?
YingKang: Eh... Where you come one?
Suhayo: Orh... 我从你后面来的!
YingKang: What the hell no link!
Suhayo: 我看到你在喘, 就去附近的 7-Eleven 跟你买水喝啦!
YingKang: Oh, you are that powerful advisor! I remember you...
Suhayo: 什么? 你 demote 我? 作为你的 advisor? 我做 General 不行啊?
YingKang: You want learn my powerful skill or not? If not, I will kill you straight!
Suhayo: Dun wan leh!
YingKang: What the hell?! Okay lah, you die lah! Pork po...
Suhayo: Okay sorry la sorry la! 开玩笑而已!
YingKang: You dun joke with such shit! Okay? You listen to me! I will surely teach you one!
Suhayo: 你要不要做 home tutor? 来我家做啦!
YingKang: Hot lah! 做 what? 做爱 ah? Ahahahahahahahahaha!
Suahyo: 教我啦! 教我你杀人的秘方!
YingKang: Okay, you want to learn the Way of the Pork, you must medidate for 10 years!
Suhayo: 没问题! No kick! 我用超级时间快速秘方 (w/e), 十年时间, 过了!
YingKang: Okay veh good! Now learn from me! Once you chosen your path, you must know what you fight for! The powerful general position!
Suhayo: 做一个疯的 General? DUN WAN LEH! 我做 CC King 就可以了!
YingKang: Okay I wan you to say "pork" seven hundred and fifty-three quadrillion eight hundred thirty trillion one hundred and three billion seven hundred and eighty-three million seven hundred and eighty-three thousand two hundred and fourteen times! (had to make it look big)
Suhayo: 这么容易的任务? No kick! 看召! (take in breath) Pork po-
YingKang: Okay lah 不要再说了啦! Jackass! You have learnt the way of the pork!
Suhayo: 什么? 这么容易就掌握了 "killer pork" 的 skill liao? 我说一次而已!
YingKang: Aiyah! 一次够了啦! It is more than enough!
Suahyo: 你这个笨的, 还懂 more and less 啊?
YingKang: Shuddup lah, you think you veh funny isit... CB. Pork gin-nah!
Suahyo: 这简直是太容易了! 给我学新的几召!
YingKang: Okay lah! You wan learn new skills, read this book. I write one! Published by the Penguin™ company. You will learn more from it! Okay, you read ah, I go for NCC MSP!
(YingKang leaves.)
[The book is entitled "Logic. Concept. Common sense. Skill. by Dndevil"]
Suhayo: Mai siao siao! YingKang 这么幼稚的将军, 还会这些喔! 我用我的超级时间快速秘方, 把整本书读完!
(After 10 seconds...)
Suhayo: ... ... ... ... ... ... Hehehehehehe-
YingKang: Okay come liao! Today no MSP! Then NCC only briefing! Veh easy! So wut you learn?
Suhayo: 我学到了 Domokun Only Talks Arabian!
YingKang: What the hell? I never remember such a thing in my book!
Suhayo: 就是 DOTA 啦!
YingKang: What dota pork? My book dun have such thing! My book teach one is all the Chinese Chess moves! Dun talk cock! Ahahahahaha!
Suhayo: 哪里有说公鸡? 你 look down on me? 我杀了你!
YingKang: Betrayer! Betrayer! Where got student kill master one? Only jackass will kill their master! Only last time the Advisor Jonathan go and help that bloody...
Suhayo: 我自己也有 true skill 了! 你要 test 我? 来啦!
YingKang: Wait, I go find that MeeSiam first! See MSP really got cancel or not!
(YingKang leaves.)
Suhayo: 现在不在了, 我可以 train 了! (starts to meditate)
[Meanwhile, YingKang got caught by the police.]
YingKang: What the hell? What? What? Pork pork! Ahahahahahaha! Pain leh! Oei! Pork! Dun leh! Oei! Pain lah! WAIT LA!
Police officer: Okay, tell me what you want?
YingKang: Let me send a letter to my student first!
Police officer: Student? ...You look like 8 years old only, you have student? You are really mad! Put him into IMH! Now!
YingKang: Oei! Oei! What the hell? Betrayer! Betrayer! Just let me send lah! Please leh oei! I never say please to anyone before one! You are the first you know? Oei!
Police officer: Ffffffffffffffffff... You are NOISY!!!! Just let him write the freaking letter!
(Police officer gave him a pen and paper.)
YingKang: Okay, I write now ah!
(YingKang wrote a letter 'A' on the paper.)
Police officer: What the heck is this?
YingKang: I write letter lah! Neh! I write 'A'! 'A' not letter meh?
Police officer: What the ffffffffffffffffff- Put him into the f**king IMH! That f**ker must die!
(2 men came and tied YingKang in a stringed jacket, and took him away.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? You die! Come sit down! Play Chinese Chess! I show my true skill liao I dun care! You die! I 将军 you straightaway ah! See how you lose!
Police officer: This guy is god-damn mad! Send him to the damn jail!
YingKang: Pork! You dun wan play with me right? Okay, you die! Po----
[Meanwhile]
Suhayo: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!111111oneone
(Suhayo went out to the streets.)
Suhayo: You! Random bastard! Come! Say DOTA!
Keluhn: Why? No kick! Who u?
Suhayo: Just say!
Keluhn: What the hell DUN WAN LEH!
Suhayo: Say it or I call police!
Keluhn: Say then say lah! "DOTA" nia!
Suhayo: You say DOTA right? You say DOTA right? Come, sit down! I show my true skill! I teach you all about Logic! Come sit down! I teach you!
Keluhn: WTF dun wan leh! Why must I?
Suhayo: You dun wan right? Then you die! Logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic logic!
(Keluhn's arms, legs, and neck twisted and his bones broke. He died immediately.)
Suhayo: Muahahahahahahahahaha! Now you know the Molecular Mass of Mars!
[Meanwhile]
YingKang: PSP PSP pork pork ahahahahahahaha! Now I kill all the police, my wanted level increase again! What the hell? Time to run! zao zao zao!
[Meanwhile]
Mrs Mil: Eh I don't know why ah, my eyebrows why keep twitching? I need more logic!
[Meanwhile]
Suhayo: Hah! Now I feel my true power coming out! I am going to finish off those who play DOTA!

NEW CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OMG OMG

Moral?:
-Don't play DOTA.
-Don't read books by Dndevil.
-Don't be YingKang's student.
-Never say the words "DOTA" and "f**ker".
-Mrs Mil rocks.
-Don't mention NCC or MSP in front of YK.
-Also, "boon".
-"Addy full"
What message we are trying to convey is:
Ying Kang is mad.

SCRIPT #15 (On Trial 2)

2009-03-25T21:49:00.003+08:00

In a continuation of the previous story...

YingKang: Ahahahahaha! Now know the power of the PORK!
(Just then Mr. Chong and 2 policemen arrived.)
Mr. Chong: He's the one! Get him!
(The 2 policemen tied YK to a stringed jacket, and took him away.)
YingKang: Eh, what the hell? Oei!
Mr. Chong: You killed 2 of the school's most loyal dogs! Now we all scholars leaders no one follow! You're going to jail!
YingKang: But what I do? Walau eh, pork pork ahahahahaha!
Mr. Chong: And when you come back, I'm giving you 3 detention!
YingKang: What the hell?

YingKang on trial.

Jury: Court!
Judge Jon: Okay, plaintiff, you may start your statement.
Plaintiff PSP: Okay, Your Honor. Mr. Cheong Ying Kang, do you plead guilty for what you have done?
YingKang: Pork pork what the hell ahahahahaha! I never do wrong I plead gitty for what?
Plaintiff PSP: Oh? What if I can say that the repitition of religiously offensive words is considered a crime in the "Ladybird's Children's Short Stories"? It is clearly stated in page 66, Section K, topic 2, story 91, paragraph 60, line 43, sentence 24, word...
YingKang: What the hell? So much? I know I'm not gitty! Why I need plead gitty?
Plaintiff PSP: Uh, it's "guilty". And in case you don't know, we have enough proof to put you behind bars!
YingKang: Shut up lah, you think you very funny isit, cheebuy... You tok tok proof, but where is the evidence?
Plaintiff PSP: I will show them to you through Windows Media Player™. Watch the video closely... And I will show that proof IS the evidence!
(Some time later...)
Plaintiff PSP: see? Someone took a video of you saying "pork" exactly 171 times, killing Mr. Black Mamba and then later pushing Thanasilam MK into the pond!
YingKang: What the hell ah? The video so far away, can't even record my voice! So unclear! How you know I say pork leh?
Plaintiff PSP: Hah, I got that covered. I have hired a lip-reading specialist! He is the only one in the world who can read lips off people who didn't even speak! Your Honor, I invite Mr. Nat Leumas. Now, Mr. Leumas, read the lip of the accused in the video.
Leumas: K. Uh... pork... pork... pork... pork... pork... pork... pork... pork... pork...
Plaintiff PSP: Okay, thanks for reading the lips. Now, as you all heard, Mr. Cheong said pork, 171 times! He must be the cause of Black Mamba's death!
YingKang: What the hell? I never do anything lah! *snort snort* pork pork Ahahahahahaha! Cindy cindy! Ahahahahahaha! PSP PSP ahahahaha!
Judge Jon: Mr. Cheong, calm down! Everything you say in court is recorded to use as evidence against you and you'll be convicted! Now, summon your 1st witness.
YingKang: What the hell? I dun even have lawyer, still tok witness!
Voice: I SHALL BE HIS DEFENDANT!
(It was f**king Mr. Yo!)
Judge Jon: LOL
Jury: LOL
YingKang: What the hell?!
Plaintiff PSP: LOLWUT
Mr. Yo: I would like to see these people... Cheong Ying Kang. Where's your Book 3?
YingKang: What the hell? Just come defend me lah! My spearman, oei!
Mr. Yo: Tell me where is your Book 3 first?
YingKang: What the hell? I now in court you asking me for Book 3!
Mr. Yo: DUN BE AN ASS! You never hand up means never hand up! SEE MY AFTER SCHOOL!
YingKang: What the hell? You come court to chase after book is it? Noob!
Mr. Yo: I may not know your name, but I know your face. You cannot run away!
YingKang: What the hell lah? Just now you call my name now you say you dunno my name WTF
Judge Jon: Order! Order! ORDER! PLEASE, PEOPLE, SILENCE!
YingKang: Walau eh Jonathan! Betrayer! Come down help lah!
Judge Jon: I cannot, I got NPCC!
YingKang: I got NCC MSP also can tok cock! How come you cannot!
Judge Jon: Say got NPCC liao!
YingKang: You like that lah! Betrayer! Betrayer! Never help me! Dun fren you liao!
Judge Jon: DUN FREN DUN FREN LAH!
Jury: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Plaintiff PSP: lol WTF is going on????????
Mr. Yo: HOLD IT!
*silence*
Mr. Yo: I want Book 3 to be in the cupboard by 3 p.m. huh?
Plaintiff PSP: WTF
YingKang: WHAT THE HELL? TOO MANY PEOPLE TALKING! YOU ALL TIAM!
*silence*
YingKang: Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!!
(Everyone in the court died.)
YingKang: Zao zao zao! I ownself say! Court!
*Verdict: YK escaped, Mr. Yo dead, Plaintiff PSP dead, Judge Jon failed to attend NPCC*
lol

EPILOGUE

YingKang: Wah siao! Now all the police come catch me! I just run sia!
Suhayo: YingKang...
YingKang: What the hell? You?
Suhayo: 我拜你为师! 你现在就是我的 leader 了!
YingKang: Ahahahahaha! So you want learn the Way of the Pork?
Suhayo: 是的! 请多多指教!
YingKang: Come! Let's go to a corner! And find the path to enlightenment!
Suhayo: 谢, 师父!

Looks like the whole Scholars-Leaders thing worked after all.

SCRIPT #14 (Let there be Randomness)

2009-03-21T16:52:00.004+08:00

Thanks to LM for providing this story. I don't know how to elaborate, but I'll think along the way...
So you may see no-link stuff suddenly happening all at once. God said, "Let there be Randomness".

Ok so Mr Ng and Black Mamba were at the side of the pond chatting.

Mr. Ng: 各位同学们, 老师, 校长,早上好. 今天我的题目是... ...
Black Mamba: Walausth! Oni too ofs uss yoo grit evrtynsones fer wutsh?
Mr. Ng: 怎么啦? 我每次都是这样说的吗! 要不然你要我怎么说?
Black Mamba: Yoo sthoulsd saeh ein Englissth sthen iee cen ontersthand wut!
Mr. Ng: 好... ... Todae myi topik iss abort likkering. Yoo arl, ass gud stodents, shood trohw ruddish intoh thee ruddish bim. Yoo arl dizgraze thee skool, anyhow likker. Studies gud, but morel nut gud, still vehi bed. Muz larn! How to trohw likker into de correk plase. Thank you.
Black Mamba: Aah... Yoo toksth likes tat thenx iee knowsh wut yoo tokkingsht! Wee buth toks de sthame way... Yoo wanth goo owt wifsth miee?
Mr. Ng: 跟你出去? 神经病! 我都不认识你!
Black Mamba: Buth yoo jusht naow tokking too miees ehs!
Mr. Ng: 我在跟整个学校讲啦! 我只懂学校, 不懂学生!
Black Mamba: Walausth! Werest gots pinsipel dunnos sthudentss ones? NOOBsth!
(Just then Thanasilam walks by)
Thanasilam MK: Aniwun si my koy?
Mr. Ng: ???
Thanasilam MK: Eye sed, anuwun si my koy? From der pon!
Black Mamba: Iee sthink hi saidsth abouth thee koi fish froms the poind...
Mr. Ng: 喔, 我已经把它们吃掉了...
Thanasilam MK: Wut hi tokking?!
[Translator translator job]
Black Mamba: He saisd he ates yoor koi fisth!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? He 8 my koy? Imma going too killim!
Mr. Ng: 他说什么题目? 是不是在说 likkering 的东西?
Black Mamba: He'sth goin thoo keel yoosth!
Mr. Ng: 什么的地狱? Zao zao zao! (jumps into pond)
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? He 8 my fiss! Now he's pollutin der wahter with hiss farts! Tell that f**ker cum out now!
(YingKang appears.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, play Chinese Chess! I show my true skill! You die liao, call me f**ker right? You watch out! Come! 将军!
Thanasilam MK: Wut? In der farst playse I dun evin kno wut yoo tokking about!
Black Mamba: He sthays he wants plays Cshinese Chesssss wifs yoos!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der fukk? Haow can ii plae Chynis Chez wen imma Indian??
Black Mamba: Iee fites heem beforesth! Yoo musth win him orr he willsh sthpam "PORKsth"!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel? I'm Halal, and hi steel dare sae pork? Ie dare 'im say pork! I will beatim up!
YingKang: You think you Indian very pro is it? Say sorry! (slap Thana) Say sorry! (slap Thana) Say SORRY! (slap Thana) Say Sorry...
Thanasilam MK: STOOOOP!!!!!!!!!! WUT DER HEL, IE DOO WUT MUS SAE SORRRRRY? IE NEVIR DOO ANI RRONG! SLAP MEE FER WUT? I WILL KANE YOO! YOO WUN DYE ISIT?
YingKang: (who is keeping up with trends) DUN WAN LEH! I should be asking you that question! You want die is it? Huh, pork kelvin!
Black Mamba: Walausth, YingsKangsth, dun lyk tats lahss...
YingKang: Shuddup lah, ghey, you think you very funny isit? Cheebuy...
Thanasilam MK: I dun kare! Mr. Ng 8 up all my fiss, now dis bleddy bastird cum and tok kok! I will kane everyone!
YingKang: You think you Halal pro? Now you die! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Weirdly, Black Mamba died but Thanasilam is unaffected.)
YingKang: What the hell? Pork pork ahahahahaha! Why you never die?
Thanasilam MK: Becos Ie hav der power off der Halal!
YingKang: If pork cannot kill you, there is but ONE way to settle the problem!
Thanasilam MK: And wut is tat supposed too bee?
YingKang: That is you must play Chinese Chess with me! If you more powerful than me, then I won't fight you, but if I more powerful then I will fight you!
Thanasilam MK: Wut der hel you tokking abot?
YingKang: Just play Chinese Chess! I will teach you how move! You listen!
(YingKang starts playing a round with Thanasilam.)
YingKang: Okay, you start first, you move this piece up! Here! Then I move my 马, okay... Now you move this piece up! Yes, eat my piece... Then I use 车 block... You will use this 炮, this piece, move up, eat my 马. I sacrifice this... Then I move 兵... You move this sideways, eat my 兵...
(And so YingKang told Thanasilam what to do for the whole match. Stupidly, he kept telling Thanasilam what to do until all but his 将 remains and Thanasilam has 将 him with a combination of 车马将, 双炮将 and 飞将, with a 率 blocking the way.)
YingKang: Eh? What the hell?
Thanasilam MK: So I win? I win? I win! LOL, stoopid boii, yoo teach me how too win! Ahehehe!
YingKang: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Thanasilam MK: I jus folo yoor instrructshuns and I wun! Yes!
YingKang: Cheebuy lah! (Push Thanasilam into the pond)
Thanasilam: Eh? Wut der hel? Aaaaah!
(Mr. Ng was just resurfacing out of the pond when Thanasilam fell on him. They hit each other's head and died instantly. Now there are 2 floating bodies on the pond.)
YingKang: I am General! No one wins me! <-- 死都不认输
Out of a corner, Mr. Chong witnesses what happens and ran off...
Mr. Chong: This is a police matter. The police will take care of him themselves... (take out phone)

TO BE CONTINUED

I put "to be continued" because the next part of the script will be a totally different setting.
Anticipate for it, or I will keep hitting you until you say "Stop it lah, f**ker" then I'll leave you to die.

lol Help needed

2009-03-21T01:31:00.002+08:00

lol I can't think of any good story nowadays... Help needed pls provide some interesting stories plz lol

I'm planning on something like mr yo vs yk vs mrs mil vs yym vs mr ng vs Black Mamba vs kelvin vs jonathan and maybe more... but no storyline D:< ...F**ker

the nedlkajdn vnhe mpedehel emiei arrahrhgh>helll p meie mjd amying kandg sucx

SCRIPT #13 (Sssthar Warsthx 3)

2009-03-18T21:59:00.002+08:00

lol sorry for the long delay. Had too much homeowrk and now finally have some time to type some shit. Enjoy "Sssthar Warsthx Episode 3: Revenge of the Shit"

Following the previous episode...
Chess Colombians: w00t! Yesterday never celebrate fully, today must celebrate like hell! Whatever come, just heck care and continue!
YingKang: What the hell? How come no one playing Chinese Chess? Pork la, kelvin!
Chess Colombians: You too powerful liao la!
YingKang: If you are more powerful than me, I wont fight you, but if you not more powerful than me, I will fight you! Who is powerful enough to fight me in CC? Come on, pork!
Suhayo: 来, 我来了! I have come to play with you, YingKang!
YingKang: Ahahahahahaha! Finally a worthy opponent! Come on let's play man, pork!
(Throughout the whole game...)
Suhayo: Orh, 我懂你要做什么了. 想要将我? 休想!
YingKang: You trying to resist my advances? I use all my resources now! Move 车 up! Block your 马!
Suhayo: Aiya, 没看到! Shit, 现在我看到你想做什么了! 双炮将 hor? Dun think I dunno. Block your 炮 with my 率!
YingKang: Hah, 中计! Move 车 up again! 将军!
Suhayo: Eh? Aiya, 没看到! SHIT! 将军了! 输了.
YingKang: Ahahahaha! Pork pork 没有看到, 输了一条命! 呱呱呱呱呱,呱呱! (wtf)
Voice: Muaahassahsaasahsahsahasahshhshaaas!
YingKang: What the hell?

(Black Mamba appears.)

YingKang: What the hell? You again? What you want? People playing Chinese Chess you keep gaying la!

Black Mamba: Ifs yoo wana plae Chyna Chesss, yoo sthall fite mee!

YingKang: Okay la! See who scared who? Tortoise scared iron hammer! (?)

(Both take out their Light Sabers)

Black Mamba: Pripares too be owneds!

YingKang: Me, the Powerful General, never lose one fight before. You? Defeat me? Impossible!

(PANG! BISH! BOOM! They fought. Then... YingKang's light saber switched off!)

YingKang: What the hell? No batt? Walau I yesterday charged only!

Suhayo: YingKang! Take mine! (throw light saber)

(YingKang use the Force and took Suhayo's light saber.)

YingKang: Wah nice, fully charged! I like! (switch on light saber) Come fight la!

(Black Mamba and YingKang fought. Then Black Mamba slashed YingKang.)

YingKang: Ouch! What the hell? Next time see properly leh! Pork kelvin!

Black Mamba: Oohs, sthorry. Nows to finish yoos!

YingKang: Wait! Can finish in Chinese Chess form? I too injured liao!

Black Mamba: Walausth tats de hole ideas! Yoo git injuresds thens iee keel yoo!

YingKang: Walau, last time my father the manager of the Zen company leh! He always use Chinese Chess settle everything one! Yoo stupid gay lah, every thing also touch one! Pork!

Black Mamba: Buttsth! YingKangz, iee AM yoorhts FATEHRS!

YingKang: (gasp) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~!!! Seriously lah, gay, who are you?

Black Mamba: I AMS YOORH FATERHERTHS!

YingKang: WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~!!!!

Black Mamba: Yesssth! Naow yoo knows! Iee sthall finish yoo!

Suhayo: YingKang! 要记得, 他是你的敌人,不是你爸爸!

YingKang: Urrrrgh... Yes! You are not my father! My father is Zen company boss! You are just a snake! Pork!

Black Mamba: Ya las ya las... Happyhs Aepril Foosth Dae!

YingKang: What the hell? Now not April you still Happy April Fools' Day! Pork la kelvin! Still joke about my father!

Black Mamba: Sthorry lahs YingsKang... Butsh Iee rilly wana ghey wif yoos!

YingKang: Bloody gay snake, you have reached my limit! You shall be killed once and for all!

Suhayo: YingKang! 用你的 True Skill! (cover ears)

YingKang:Yes! Snake, you will DIE NOW! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork 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Black Mamba: What?

BLACK MAMBA EXPLODED!!!!!

Yingkang: Yes, you die, stupid gay!

Suhayo: Hmmm... 做得好! YingKang, you have found enlightenment!

YingKang: You... worthy opponent... you will be my new advisor! That pork Jonathan, betrayer! Go join enemy!

Suhayo: Wah, 哪里可以 demote 我, 做你的 advisor? 你当我的 advisor 才对!

YingKang: You want the job or not?

Suhayo: DUN WAN LEH!

YingKang: PORK!

(Suahyo died of heart attack.)

YingKang: What the hell...

YING KANG, HAVING USED UP ALL HIS POWER TO DEFEAT DARTH VIPER, COLLAPSED TO THE GROUND, AND LAY MOTIONLESS. THE LEGENDARY GENERAL, HAS FINALLY REACHED THE END OF HIS LINE.

(Advisor Jonathan walks past.)

Advisor Jonathan: Psh! General mode, in the end still die! I got NPCC, I heck care him lah!

AND HIS LEGEND WILL NOT PASS DOWN FOR GENERATIONS, FOR NO ONE EVER GAVE HIS BODY A GLIMPSE, AND TREATED IT AS A MAT.

WAS THIS SACRIFICE TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO BEAR? WHO CARES.

The end?

Suharyo, you asked for it.

MY valentine

2009-02-15T22:44:00.005+08:00

Lol i got a girlfriend ytd woohoot. This is her picture. LOl ]

SCRIPT #12 (Sssthar Warsthx 2)

2009-02-11T00:51:00.003+08:00

Yes, second "episode". 5 more to go and the main character's dead. How should I continue? Read on for "Sssthar Warsthx Episode2: Attack of the Snakes".

With the Chess Colombians' victory, they had a celebration that night.
Chess Colombians: We OWN! WE OWN!
YingKang: Silence! I have to ask you all ONE question first!
Chess Colombians: What? Quick ask, we're celebrating!
YingKang: Okay, what does PSP stand for?
Chess Colombian: Walau, so easy! You always say one! 逼你斯 stab 补习!
YingKang: Nuhb! Nuhb! No lah, it's just PlayStation Portable lah! Ahahahahahaha! What the hell! You all 想歪 one! Ahahahahahaha! PSP *snort snort* AHAHAHAHAHA! Hot!
Chess Colombians: WALAU! GENERAL! LAME LEH! WALAU GENERAL YOU DAMN KAOPEH!
YingKang: Okay lah, sorry la boss! Is you all think sick one lor! What the hell!
(Suddenly, a Chess Colombian came into the room.)
Chess Colombian: General! Many snakes are coming into our spaceship!
YingKang: What the hell? Tsk, 不要再说了啦!
Chess Colombian: No, really, they are controlled by the Pythons!
YingKang: What the hell? Pork pork I thought I kill their leader liao!
Chess Colombian: No, other Pythons are controlling them!
YingKang: Nehmind! I have 24K points and almost all my resources upgrade liao! They want attack my south barrier, noobshit! My tribe will kill them! All the spearmen there, ahahahahahaha! GG!
Chess Colombian: Then should we defend?
YingKang: Nehmind one! They cannot pass my south barrier one, they are not more powerful than me! Ahahahahahaha!
Chess Colombian: But they just destroyed the south barrier!
YingKang: What the hell! My resources all upgrade liao they still can pass! Time for Plan E! (do a few spins) Now it's time to play Chinese Chess with them! Bring on all the powerful troops! All those not more powerful ones will fall back! Time for war!
Chess Colombians: Walau, not again! Yestersay we win liao! Why need fight again?
YingKang: Because I say so! I AM THE GENERAL! You listen to my powerful words!
Chess Colombian: Walau General we like you more when your a bloody joker!
YingKang: No time! All the 兵 and 炮 move forward! 士 come and protect me! 车 move on to the side for cover! 马 cross the river! 相 stop at the river! That 相, yes, you! You come stand in front of me to prevent 飞将! Now prepare to move forward, 兵!
(The snakes start entering the spaceship through the south barrier.)
YingKang: WHAT, I didn't expect it to have so many gays! 车, move up, and block their 兵! Quick, 炮, eat their 马. GO! NOW! YES! 马, move up! Block his 车 from eating my 士!
Chess Colombian: General! You can only move one time per turn!
YingKang: Aiya, shit, 举手不回! Nehmind, 炮, go up eat their 兵!
炮 colombian: Really ah? But how? So many snakes!
YingKang: Jump over the 兵 and eat them lah!
(The 炮 colombian jumped over the 兵 and started eating the snakes!)
YingKang: WHAT, I never tell you go eat the snakes right!
炮 colombian: WTF, you tell me eat now you tell me dun nid eat! WTF!
YingKang: You just remove them from the board lah!
炮 colombian: WTF, where's the board? What board lah!?
YingKang: You stupid not-powerful chess piece! I rather their 炮 eat my 兵 than you go eat their 兵!
(Then, the snakes ate up YingKang's 炮 colombian.)
YingKang: Shit, their 兵 ate my 炮!
(Then, unexpectedly, Black Mamba appears while wearing a mask)
YingKang: I thought I killed you in Episode 1!
Black Mamba: Yessth, Iie dyed, butt ssome Gaydi peepol revivedsd meh! Now Iie amsx knowns asss "Darth Viper"!
YingKang: You want to die again is it? My spearmen all waiting!
Darth Viper: Noesth! I jusx wants thoo ghey wif yoo! Justs onse! Advozir Jonathans told meh teh methox liao! I musx sae "F**ker"stssth!
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, I dun care, I 将 you like siao! You die man, I show my true skill! I make sure you die sia!
Darth Viper: OOkaes laas! Butt afftr tat can gheys wif yoos?
YingKang: i see whether you more powerful or not first! Come, I move first! 将军!
Darth Viper: Whats teh hellas? Iie havens moves sia! 吵死了!
YingKang: You dun want move is it? Okay lor, you die man! You not as more powerful than me! Stupid black snake! Die! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Darth Viper died of heart attack.)
Darth Viper: NOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEESSSSSSSSTHTTHTSSSTH YINGKANGSSSSSSS!
YingKang: You want fight me? Say SORRY first! Stupid not-powerful gay snake!

THE CHESS COLOMBIANS ARE VICTORIOUS ONCE AGAIN!

4 more to go! Watch out for the climax! Or so I see it

SCRIPT #11 (Sssthar Warsthx 1)

2009-02-09T00:04:00.004+08:00

Nice, 11 scripts. As if you didn't know what's coming by the title. Okay, you may not know, but those who know our jokes see the special way of typing and will know straight away. Now presenting "Sssthar Warsthx Episode 1: The Phantom Viper".

In space, 2 rivalling factions were having a war against each other. They were the Pythons and the Chess Colombians. Their leaders were Black Mamba and YingKang respectively.

Black Mamba: DASSSHX OOOEEEISH!
Dash: Oei!
Black Mamba: DASSSSSSSTHSZX OOOEEEIEIIEISTH!
Dash: Oei!
Black Mamba: Iie sae wii strikes thoze Chessth Colombiansh!
Dash: Yeah!
Black Mamba: Oookaess?
Dash: ALRIGHT!
Black Mamba: Alrites?
Dash: Okay!
*MEANWHILE*
YingKang: Ahahahahaha! What the hell pork pork ahahahahahaha! All come play Chinese Chess! Come I nothing do! Where is my trusty advisor? Come play Chinese Chess leh, pok!
Advisor Jonathan: I cannot la, got NPCC!
YingKang: What the hell? PSP la you! NPCC go die la! Just play la!
Advisor Jonathan: I tell you I have NPCC liao!
YingKang: Walau eh, Jonathan! You keep touching you shirt for what? Scared drop is it? Just play one time before NPCC lah!
Advisor Jonathan: Walau eh YK I SAY GOT NP RIGHT????
YingKang: Jonathan you like that lah! Dun friend you liao!
Advisor Jonathan: DUN FREN DUN FREN LAH!
YingKang: Okay, you're FIRED! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Advisor Jonathan leaves angrily.)
YingKang: Walau, now no one play with me Chinese Chess!
CC soldier: General YK, the Pythons are coming to attack us!
YingKang: What the hell? Ahahahaha! (do a few spins) Prepare the troops! Use the resources! Build more buildings! Start the gunships! Protect the south barrier!
CC soldier: Yes sir! (talking to radio) Start all the stuff!
(Then the Pythons fought with the Chess Colombians)
Black Mamba: Cccsschhhhaaaaarrggggeeee fffffffooooooooorrrrrrwwwwaaaaaaaaarrrrdddssss!
(Black Mamba sees YingKang for the first time. It was love @ first sight.)
Black Mamba: Ooh la laa! (rushes to YingKang) Hellosss!
YingKang: Hm? Have we met before? Do NOT disturb me, it is my turn to move my 兵!
Black Mamba: Yoo arth tshe leaderss offx teh Chessx Columbiansth rites? Iie ame Black Mamba! Nyse too meets yoo!
YingKang: Dammit, I cannot concentrate! Go away la! I am thinking! Interrupt me one more time I make sure you say sorry!
Black Mamba: Walausth... (Looking at YingKang) Butss thenx asth leassth yoo kan tok too meh ritesth!?
YingKang: What the F... DAMN SNAKE! Spit saliva on me? Go to HELL!
(With one Super Saiyan kick, YK kicks Black Mamba back to the Pythons Base.)
Black Mamba: Walausth! Pain arh!
(Black Mamba notices someone beside him.)
Black Mamba: Dun take video larhs! Funnys ahs?
Advisor Jonathan: Dun worry! I will help you fulfill your dream! I will tell you all his weakness! He think he want play Chinese Chess can play! Kick me out of NPCC! Pssh!
Black Mamba: Ookaes! Yoo help meh ahs!!
(Advisor Jonathan went on to tell Black Mamba of YK's "weaknesses".)
Black Mamba: Oohs, sso lyk tat oni... F**KERSSTH!
(Suddenly there was an earthquake, and YingKang burst out from the ground.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down! Play Chinese Chess! I dun care, I use my true skill liao! You die! YOU DIE!
Black Mamba: Woowss, its worksth!
YingKang: Quick move! I make sure I use all 将 to kill you!
Black Mamba: LOLsth, whart shoot iie doo nows?
Advisor Jonathan: You move up your 相 to prevent 车马将! You later then move your 兵 up so as to block his 双炮将! Then move your 炮 beside his 马 and 将 him!
YingKang: What? Advisor Jonathan, you betrayer! Betrayer! How dare you side with the enemy! Beware I dun fren you anymore!
Advisor Jonathan: Dun fren dun fren lah! Fook! You fire me from National Pork Chess Colombians liao what! I heck care, I got NPCC!
YingKang: WHAT THE HELL! YOU REBEL! DIE NOW! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Advisor Jonathan died of a heart atack.)
Black Mamba: Walausth, nows no one tell mii howw too do liaos!
YingKang: You stupid ghey snake! You are in Dash right? Dun think I dun know! I 将 you in every way possible!
Black Mamba: Walausth! I havenx movessh!
YingKang: You think you talking spit saliva very good is it? STUPID BLACK SNAKE! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Black Mamba died of a heart attack.)
YingKang: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I am victorious!
THE CHESS COLOMBIANS ARE THE WINNERS!

To be continued... This is SO not the end. Watch out for Episode 2.

SCRIPT 10 =)) Mrs Mil

2009-02-07T19:01:00.001+08:00

John who is a student who had just started his primary 1 this is the first day of the lesson.The lesson starts at 8.30 but the teacher came in at 9.00

Mrs.Mil: Today i am going to teach you all what is logic. By the way i am always puntual.Yes anot? any problem?
John: Yes we gonna lend new thing!! woohoot.
Mrs.Mil: I will choose a english rep. John u will be the english rep. Please put in the english book by today in my classboard. Yes anot ?any problem?
John: Yes....
Mrs Mil: I am gonna teach you all what is logic now. Turn your textbook to page 1 chapter 1. Yes anot?
Ali: I didnt bring my textbook.
Mrs Mil: You are wasting my time!!!!! Now get out!!! Those who didnt bring the textbook all get out. Any problem?
Mrs Mil: Lets begin our lesson yes anot? Ok i am going to teach u logic now. Turn your textbook to planet. Write down what i said. I dun give notes. yes anot?
Mrs Mil: So the theory go like this. The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass. SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars. Because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars. Yes anot?
John: Teacher can repeat?
Mrs mil:The molecular mass of mars is heavier than the molecular mars of the mass. SO the mass is bigger than the mars due to mass of the mars. Because of the mars which cause the mass of the mars to drop the mass, thus the mass is lower than the mars due to the mass of the mars of the mass. Hence mass of the mars is heavier than the mars of the mass because of the mass in mars. Yes anot?? ANy problem? No lets continue turn to your workbook page 2.
John: teacher i nver bring...
Mrs.mil:You are already primary 1. i am treating you like a adult. you all are not children anymore. please dun be so childish. yes anot? 7years old already and still do not know what is responsiblity. This is all your character value. I cannot everytime give you all a chance if not u all will keep forgetting to bring to do yes anot? correct anot? Please grow up.Hand it to you at 4.00pm SHARP. If i am not in staff room ask other teacher to pass to me. If not go home and take your book i dun care what cca or reason u have.

John: F**cker
Ying kang appeared.

Ying Kang : Wth pork pork hahah! want play chinese chess?
John: OK dun care this teacher.
Mrs MIl: The boys over there why are u all talking and playing chess? You all talk more than the girls. Girls lend them your skirt to them so that the boys can talk more. Boys if you all talk again i will shift your place. Yes anot?

This is the time Ying Kang get interrupted in a chinese chess. Being angry, he transform into his general mode.

Ying Kang: PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK
Mrs mil : DUN SAY PORK ANYMORE! NOOOO
But YK went on anyway and BOOM she exploded

Mrs Mil died. This is the end of the story hope u enjoyed it.

SCRIPT #9 (The Road Less Taken)

2009-01-05T18:10:00.003+08:00

This is the same concept as Script #1 but this is another variant. While Script #1 is sad, this one may make you happy. WARNING! CONTAINS EXTREME RACISM. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Foreword: Once, there was a boy who had the chance to go for an overseas exchange trip, to HYENA BANGLA CHYNA. He's poor, but smart. He wanted to go initially, but after persuasion from his friends, he didn't go and learnt some stuff... Yea.

Narrator: Once upon a time there was a boy named Muthu.He's born in a poor family who lived among the dumpsters. He had just enough money to be sent to school. He is Halal and yet he eats pork.
Muthu: LOL, pok so nice!
BlackMamba: Walaus, Muthusss, whye yoo eath pox? Yoo Halal lehx!
Muthu: Sorrrrrry, I dunno what yoo tokkin?
BlackMamba: Oeisth! Yoo nuts screds yoo eats too muchx I latser eath yoo laa?
Muthu: End wye woold jew wantoo eat me?
BlackMamba: 'cox yoo eath too muchx, yoo ownsthelf become pox, thens ssnakesth eath pox wad!
Muthu: Dun trrry to crrrap wif mii, snakes live in Afrrrica, pok live in India, how kan snakes flye all teh way to India to eat pok!?
BlackMamba: Yoo thens crapsth laahsh! We boths in Sssingapores, wheres gots wad Africana and Indiana sshitsth?
Muthu: Yoo can juz goo away and lemme eat mah pok!
BlackMamba: Oeisth, yoo halals lehs! Halals peepols cantz eath pox one! Kena aresttheds!
Muthu: Arrrest den arrrest lah! Lator in jayl dey oso giv pok one! I lyk pok!
BlackMamba: WALAUsth! Okeys, I giv yoo 3s fats! One my fatse, one cindyfatse, or pokfatsz!
Muthu: Obviously most peepol will choose pokfats! But I use teh Rrroad Less Taken, so I take Cindyfarts! That choice no one weel take one, but I tayk!
BlackMamba: Walausth! Yoo yoos teh roads lessss takenz, whye yoo dun takes my fatse?
Muthu: Walau, yoo gey, lyk woo weel tayk ur farts! NOOB!
BlackMamba: (cry) Walaus! *sniff* Yoo frekss! I thot I ken geys wisth yoo! (runs away)
Muthu: Soo in teh ende, I choose Cindyfarts! A choice dat noo one tayks! The Rrroad Less Takeon!
Narrator: The End.
Muthu: WAIT! It's nott teh end yet! I steel hevan git mah Cindysfarts!
Narrator: Oh, right...
Muthu: O sheet! BlackMambai run away niver giv mii Cindyfart! Mambai!!
(Muthu chases after BlackMamba)
Muthu: Oi! Were is mah Cindysfat!
BlackMamba: Wuhlaos! Dune wan tok too yoo lahs! Shuddhupxsthss!
Muthu: Oi! Wut teh haell's ur problem? I oni say I dunwan ur fats!
BlackMamba: DASHsth OEISSXSTH!!!!!!!!
Muthu: Wuts ur problam man? Yoo ur gey so I dun wan ur fats! Tat's teh rison! Yoo f**ker!
(YingKang appears.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come, sit down, play Chinese Chess! I dun care, I show my true skill! You die man! Come! I will 将 you in one move~!
Muthu: Eh wut teh hell? I niver sae yoo I sae BlackMambaii!
YingKang: You think you can deny? You call me f**ker right? Nevermind, come play Chinese Chess! I will win you until you want die cannot die you pee in your pants!
Muthu: Eh wut teh hella? I sae I want Cindyfats oni! After I eat the pok!
YingKang: You think you can use my power? You are more powerful than me, I actually dun wan argue with you, but I use the Road Less Taken! I will use up all my resources! One click K.O.!
Muthu: No no no no no no no no no no no... wait wait... Wait lah! Dun! Dun! You f**ker! Don't! Wait! Dun kill me! Wayt! WAYT!
YingKang: WHAT WAIT? WHAT WAIT? I use my power I tell you! I DUN CARE! THE ROAD LESS TAKEN! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork !!
(MUTHU EXPLODED!!!!)
YingKang: Muahahahahahahahahaha! My true skill! Muahahahahahahaha!
BlackMamba: Yingkansrgsth... wan gey wifths miis?
YingKang: Say SORRY! Say SORRY! (bang BlackMamba's head)
BlackMamba: Eh wuts I doos? Dammitz lahs! Mye hed damn payns lehs! F**kerssssth!
YingKang: BETRAYER! BETRAYER! YOU CALL ME F**KER RIGHT? STUPID GEY SNAKE! DIE! PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK PORK!
(BLACK MAMBA EXPLODED!)

MORAL: HOLYSHIT!

Ying Kang in General Mode

2009-01-02T22:53:00.010+08:00

LOLOLOLOLOLOL here is Ying Kang in General Mode:
When he's playing Chinese Chess, his General Mode activates. During this time, all he will be focusing on is either Chinese Chess or Tribal Wars. He will focus on winning the game, no matter what it takes. He will use all kinds of powerful tactics to take out his opponent. During this time, the opponent may have the strength to beat him, resulting in him being silent all of a sudden and returning back to his infamous Joker Mode. BE WARNED!! If you point out his mistake and call him f**ker at the same time, he will go into Super Saiyan Mode. During this time, he will show his "true skill" and start pwning everyone. His opponents will be powerless against him. Those who provoke him in the midst of the game will be severely beaten up until they are forced to say "sorry". After a while, he will return to Joker Mode, and will forget whatever that just happened.

***CRITICS***
"lol" - Amos
"lol" - LZR
"lol" - LLM
"lol" - Kelvin
"I got NPCC!" - Jonathan
"lol" - Ron
"不要再说了啦!" - Ying Kang himself
"Truly the mother of all jokes" - New York Daily

What does the scouter have to say about his power level?
"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNND!!!!!!!!!!"

SCRIPT #8 (Retarded)

2008-12-31T01:17:00.003+08:00

Yes, it's been almost 2 months since the last script... While I was packing through my stuff, I saw this piece of foolscap which was dated 1st March 2007. It has the script of last year's Learning Carnival. Take some damn time go read!! This is one of the longest scripts, because there is a repeated use of one word. Also, three is a sacred number.

Chinese New Year. At home with everyone eating reunion dinner.
Dad: I'm back!
Mum: You're back!
Elder Bro: You're back!
Elder Sis: Dad, you're back!
Grandma: 啊, 你回来了!
Young Sis: Daddy, you're back!
Ah Gong: Li deng lai liao! (In Hokkien)
Uncle: Eh sup, 回来了!
Auntie: Eh, Ah Ben, deng lai liao!
Maid Maria: Sir, you're back...!
Dad: OKAY TIAM! Ahem, I mean, yes. I'm back! Okay!
Retard: Ahahahahaha....!
Elder Sis: Ah boi, you shut up, I give you one dollar! (Give one dollar)
Retard: Wah, zeh zeh gimme one dallah!! (Dance)
Elder Bro: Meh... Retard.
Dad: Nehmind! Let's 捞鱼生!
(The whole family 捞鱼生.)
Dad: Ok, everyone will have good health!
Mom: My children will have good results!
Grandma: 啊，我要活到老学到老!
Ah Gong: Wa ai jia yu seng!
Retard: 早死早好!
Everyone: CHOY!
Dad: Ah boi, you go into your room! You can't talk properly! Tomorrow still got school! Go! Go sleep!
Retard: Huh okay lor! (Leaves)
Uncle: Oei, how you get such a stupid son?
Dad: Aiya, no choice lah! I don't know it's my position wrong, or timing wrong, then my wife give birth to that dumb boy! I'm better off without him!
Mom: Ya, you have a point...
[THE NEXT DAY]
Maid Maria: Young Sir, wake up, time for school!
Retard: Aiya ok ok ok lor!
(Retard gets dressed for school.)
Maid Maria: Come let's go, Young Sir.
[ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL...]
Retard: Eh there got mum mum! I want! I want!
Maid Maria: Cannot! Mum say you cannot buy ice-cream!
Retard: I want I want I want!
(Suddenly 2 men ran past Retard and dragged him away.)
Retard: Ahahahahahahaha!
Maid Maria: Oh my god! Kidnappers! I must call Mum!
(Maid Maria calls Mom)
Mom: Ya, what? I later got mahjong session, so shoot!
Maid Maria: Mum! Just now 2 men carry Young Sir away!
Mom: Wait, who is this?
Maid Maria: I'm Maria!
Mom: How come I don't have your number? Eh, how you get handphone one? You secretly go buy one right?
Maid Maria: Mum, no time! Young Sir is kidnapped!
Mom: Nevermind, you tell me how you get phone one?
Maid Maria: But Mum...
Mom: Tell me first, Young Sir can wait.
Maid Maria: Okay okay, I buy from shop one!
Mom: Nevermind, you come back then die! Just now you say what?
Maid Maria: Young Sir is kidnapped!
Mom: You mean the retarded one is it? Aiya dun care la!
Maid Maria: But Mum... Ah, nehmind, I call police! (Hangs up and calls police)
Secretary: Hello? This is Berisan Polis Singapura.
Maid Maria: Help! Young Sir is kidnapped!
Secretary: Hang on, I'll transfer your call... Eh Sir, someone looking for you.
Pro cop: Looking for me? (Take the phone) Hello, yes. This is Berisan Polis Singa...
Maid Maria: No time! Young Sir is kidnapped!
Pro cop: Who's Young Sir?
Maid Maria: My young master la! He got kidnap!
Pro cop: Okay okay... where?
Maid Maria: Near Young Sir's school!
Pro cop: *sigh* Who's Young Sir? Where's his school?
Maid Maria: The there lor! Got ice-cream stand one.
Pro cop: Walau, no hope lah... Ahem, I want THE NAME of the school.
Maid Maria: Chey, you never ask!
Pro cop: I didn't ask? Why you...
Maid Maria: Quick! I waste a lot of time already! Young Sir dunno go where!
Pro cop: You WAIT. I'll be there. (Put down phone.) Oei rookie.
(Rookie cop listening to MP3.)
Pro cop: ROOKIE!
Rookie cop: What la Sir?
Pro cop: Follow me!
Rookie cop: Sir, why I need? You so pro, you go can liao la!
Pro cop: I ask you ah, you join police force for what? Sit there listen to MP3 is it?
Rookie cop: Okay, Sir, you want me follow, can. Just go, don't talk liao.
Pro cop: Okay... Eh Secretary, watch the place for me.
(Pro and Rookie cops leave the station.)
Secretary: Whoo, finally some peace time. (Start filing her nails.)
[Meanwhile]
Kidnapper1: Eh, Ah Beng, where we take this boy ah?
Kidnapper2: You see ah, Ah Seng, we take him to the old AngMoKio HDB flat there then call his mother for money. Simple!
Retard: Eh where's my mum mum?
Ah Seng: Okay ah, boiboi, you want mum mum you follow us, don't anyhow cry or whatever. Okay?
Retard: NO! I WANT MUM MUM NOW!!
Ah Beng: Eh boy! TIAM! Just follow us! Dammit, if I have money I just buy one van catch you away liao! Come la, boy!
Retard: If I follow can have mum mum?
Ah Beng: You want mum mum or dad dad also can lah! Just come!
[Meanwhile]
Maid Maria: ...and then Young Sir got captured! Oh no, later Sir will scold me one...!
Pro cop: Okay, just tell us where the kidnappers went.
Maid Maria: They went that direction! (point)
Rookie cop: Eh Sir, I thought kidnapper got van one!
Pro cop: That one is in drama one la! Real kidnappers just snatch and run.
Rookie: Really meh? They like that take and zao, how can? So many people!
Pro cop: Aiya, kidnappers can be professional one! Go back into the car!
Rookie cop: (nods head) Anything. (Puts back MP3)
(While driving)
Pro cop: Hmm... They must be hiding in that old HDB flat at AngMoKio!
Rookie cop: Eh Sir, I thought kidnapper take the people to jungle one! Then jungle got one house they all hide there!
Pro cop: That one is in drama! The past kidnappers we caught all is in that HDB one!
Rookie cop: Sir, I think they quite stupid leh. Got people tio caught there, then they still go back. Stupid!
Pro cop: Because they think that the most dangerous place is the safest place!
[Meanwhile]
Ah Beng: Ah, the most dangerous place is the safest place! A lot of police go there before, so they think that no one dare go there anymore! Ah, but I smart! I know, so I go there!
Ah Seng: Ah Beng, you sure or not? You smart, police not stupid leh!
Ah Beng: Ah Seng, you are just a rookie kidnapper. Learn from me, I kidnap 100 children before leh! So I know one! Just lead that boy...
[Meanwhile]
Rookie cop: Sir, you sure you want to go there? You smart, kidnapper not stupid leh! They can let you think that they are there, then they go jungle!
Pro cop: Hey! You're just a rookie policeman. You should take me as a role model. I caught 100 kidnappers before, so I know. Just wait till we get there...
[Meanwhile]
Ah Beng: Wah, walk so long... We finally reach ah! Come, boy, follow us up.
(The kidnappers take Retard to a house at the topmost floor.)
Ah Seng: (collapse to the floor) Aiyah! Walau, Ah Beng, you choose the highest storey for what? *huff* Walau kaopeh! I tired liao! Aah!
Ah Beng: You tired I not tired ah!? *huff* Bastard building! How come have 12 stories one! Dammit, no lift somemore! (looks around) Where's that boy?
(Retard appears)
Retard: Eh, why you all stop? Where's my mum mum?
Ah Beng: Eh boy? Where you go just now? I climb 12 stories I thought you behind me. *huff* Why you in front?
Retard: Where is my mum mum?
Ah Beng: You want mum mum you... *huff* walau too tired liao lah! *huff* Boy, you not tired meh?
Retard: Just now I see one door keep opening closing so I go in play! When I come out I am here!
Ah Beng: Huh? WTF? Walau! I catch children bring here 100 times I never see the lift! What the hell! I still need carry the children up! !@#$%^&*!!!!! Aaaah... I too tired liao. Boy, you go into the room play, let us rest...
[Meanwhile]
Pro cop: Okay, so we are here...
Rookie cop: Wah kao, so old already! Never demolish meh?
Pro cop: Yea... Nobody live here already. That's why many kidnappers all come here.
Rookie cop: So let's just catch them so we can go home...
(The policemen enter the building's void deck.)
Pro cop: There is no lift so we have to climb. (point) There are the stairs. Let's climb. You can watch the car if you like...
Rookie cop: No no no... I want see you catch bad guys! Hahaha.
Pro cop: Okay, you go take my gun from the car, then go up meet me.
Rookie cop: Yes Sir. (walk away)
Pro cop: Let's start the long climb.
(Rookie cop takes the gun and puts it in a pack at his waist. He walks back to the void deck.)
Rookie cop: (Looking around) Huh? Hey, here got lift! Chey, so it's at the back. Why Sir never see one... I just use the lift go up give him la...
[Meanwhile]
Ah Seng: Wah... Ah Beng, sleeping is it? Wake up la, you ready or not?
Ah Beng: (tired) Huh? What thing? I am still tired...
Ah Seng: We were supposed to call the boy's parents!
Ah Beng: Huh, oh yah... (standing up) Where's that boy?
Ah Seng: He still inside. I told him to call his mother.
Retard: Eh, uncle! Uncle!
Ah Seng: Aiyah, Ah Beng, you better wake up hor! I go see him. (Walk away) What la boy?
Retard: I tell my mother what then get mum mum?
Ah Seng: Okay say that you are in my hands! Then give me the phone and I give you mum mum.
Retard: But got one girl talking!
Ah Seng: What you mean? Give me the phone! (snatches the phone)
Singtel: This is the Singtel Announcement Service. The number that you've just called is not in use. Thank You.
Ah Seng: Huh? (looks at phone) Eh boy, you dial 12345678 for what? Trying to be funny?
(Rookie cop comes out of the lift.)
Rookie cop: (looks around) Hey, sir is not here yet... (Walks along the corridor) Hey what's that?
(Rookie sees Ah Beng lying down on the floor.)
Rookie cop: He should be a gangster la... So many tattoos... And lol he is sleeping... Inconsiderate bastard! Sleeping at the corridor!
(Rookie cop hears noises coming from a flat. He goes in and sees Ah Seng and Retard.)
Ah Seng: Huh? Police? (holds Retard hostage and points the handphone to his head) Don't move or I will blow his head off!
Rookie cop: Wait, relax... I just want to ask if you saw... erm... (takes out notebook) 2 heavily-tattooed big guys, one of them wearing a white singlet and blue jeans, another with gold hair... along with a school boy who likes to eat something called 'mum mum' as described by the maid?
Retard: Ya ya... Mum mum! Mum mum!
Ah Seng: (puzzled) Huh...? Orh... Never see, never see.
Rookie cop: Oh okay. You see anything you must tell me leh! Here got some kidnapping case happen!
Ah Seng: Huh...? Orh, okay... Er... Hope you catch them soon! Good luck!
Rookie cop: (walking out) Heh-heh, hey thanks.
Retard: Hey uncle, let go of me! I want mum mum!
(Ah Seng releases Retard as Rookie stops walking.)
Rookie cop: (turns around) Wait, mum mum? (looking at Ah Seng) White singlet, blue jeans... Aha!
Ah Seng: (grabs Retard again) Okay, you don't come nearer I'll shoot again!
Rookie cop: No, I just want to say that you are wearing the exact same clothes as the guys we're looking for! Hahaha! What coincidence!
Ah Seng: Huh...? Orh, okay... Hmph.
(Rookie goes out and see the sleeping Ah Beng.)
Rookie cop: Hm... Gold hair. (takes out notebook) White singlet, blue jeans, gold hair... School boy... Aha! (runs back to the flat)
Ah Seng: Eh sir, are you going to say I look like someone else again?
Rookie cop: No, I'm here to say that you are the one I'm looking for! (takes out Pro cop's gun)
Ah Seng: What the...? Oh shit! (grabs Retard once again) Move and I will shoot!
Rookie cop: Is that a handphone...?
Ah Seng: Uh... No! It's a gun! I will shoot!
Rookie cop: Then why is there 12345678 on your 'gun'?
Ah Seng: ... ... ... ...
Rookie cop: No worry! I am the most accurate shooter in the academy! (spins the gun)
(The gun spun off Rookie's finger and flew out of the window!)
Rookie cop: ...but maybe the most clumsy one.
[Meanwhile]
Pro cop: Urgh... Stupid damn building! I need to climb 12 stories! Curse you! Curse you, you god damn standing concrete! *huff* Phew! At least I made it! (looks around) Is that...?
(Pro cop saw Ah Beng sleeping)
Pro cop: Haha! Phew! *huff* Everytime I come, he'll be sleeping! You're going to jail, Sleepyhead!
(Pro cop hears noises from a flat)
Pro cop: Rookie! What's going on? Why are you here already? I didn't see you overtake.
Rookie cop: Well I saw a lift at the back of the building.
(Pro cop looked down and cursed and swore and scolded.)
Rookie cop: Well anyway, he has the boy at phone-point.
Pro cop: What phone-point? (looks at Ah Seng) Ah, I see. Looks like America is short on its gun supply! Eh?
Ah Seng: Aaah~ What is going on? Policemen come and go and talk about some American stuff and same clothes! The boy keeps pestering me about whatever mum! That policeman keeps coming and going and it's scaring me to death! (releases Retard) Damn! I surrender!
Pro cop: Well that was easy...
(Back at the police car)
Pro cop: It's off to jail for you two!
Ah Seng: ... Well this sucks! I joined the kidnapping category because I thought it would be easy! My first kidnap and I'm caught! I'll join the robbery category next time!
Ah Beng: ZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZzzzZZzzZzzZzz... Huh? What? Good morning, mom... Wait... *yawn* Huh? What? OH SHIT! NOT AGAIN!
Rookie cop: Now what does he mean?
Pro cop: Heh-heh... For the 100 kidnappers I caught, it's always the same person. It's him!
Ah Beng: Dammit! It's the 101st time! All my attempts are always foiled!
Rookie cop: That explains the stupidity. He always uses the building as his place or something.
Pro cop: Yah, that's his whatever logic, as he says...
Ah Beng: And I would've gotten away with it if it isn't for you meddling policemen!
Retard: How come so long, still no mum mum?
(Later, back at the house. Doorbell rings.)
Mum: (opens door) Yah, what?
Pro cop: We've rescued your son from imminent danger.
Mum: (looks at Retard) I thought I said don't care! Why is he alive?
Pro cop: Well, the kidnappers had no gun, so...
Mum: At least chop off his finger or something! That's what kidnappers do, right?
Pro cop: Well, that's in drama. Nowadays kidnappers just chop off the head and sends it to you.
Mum: yah, at least chop off his head!
Retard: Mummy~! Me want mum mum!
Mum: Grr... Go inside lah! (slams the door)
Rookie cop: What a weird family!
Pro cop: I've never thought about that... I'll say "retarded family"!

Later that night...

Dad: Ah boy, the teacher say you today never go school is it? How dare you play truant! I don't whack you I will never have peace! Come here!
ElderBro: Oh boy, I can't watch!
ElderSis: Let's go watch TV in Uncle's room!
(Dad canes Retard like no tomorrow.)
Retard: (crying) Huhmhffff.... Hmphfhfhhfff....
Dad: so, do you know what you're going to do from now on?
Retard: Huhmhffff.... I want mum mum! Why no mum mum? Where's my mum mum?

NOT REALLY THE END BUT *THE END*

[EPILOGUE]

Ah Seng: *sigh* See lah? You sleep for what? Now we in jail liao lor!
Ah Beng: Not my fault lah! It's the building la! Freaking 12 floors!
Ah Seng: You keep going there for what, huh? I told you it's not a good idea you still go!
Ah Beng: Eh kaopeh kaobu! You don't go jail all blame me hor! You also got kidnap one okey! F**ker!
SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME PLOT TWIST!
(YingKang appears.)
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? You die liao! Come sit down! Play Chinese Chess! I show my true skill! I will 将 you 将 until you want die cannot die...!
Ah Beng: Eh, who are you? Don't stand there kaopeh kaobu lah! You think you very pro is it? Chinese Chess? Lame lah! F**ker ch33buy!
YingKang: I am more powerful than you, so I can argue with you! If you are more powerful, then I cannot argue with you!
Ah Seng: lol I think we go to mental hospital liao...
Ah Beng: What you want, you lamer!? Just say lah, f**ker! Don't stand there kaopeh kaobu!
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? 3 times somemore! I will use 3 times the power! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(Ah Beng died of heart attack.)
Ah Seng: HOLY SHIT! Urh... Okay, whoever you are, you are my new boss! Hehehe...
*AMBIGUOUS ENDING

MORAL: YingKang is freakin' awesome.

Merry christmas all=)

2008-12-25T00:32:00.004+08:00

Wish all of the readers Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. All the best=)

Here is a IQ question for you.
What do you call an indian priest?

By:Lamer=P

SCRIPT #7 (2009)

2008-11-09T15:38:00.004+08:00

Based on results of next years classes *Not their real names

KaiTing*: Eh walau Jac not same as me!! I want Jac! Hope she can appeeeeeeaaaaaaaal!!
Jacquelyn: Eh dun wan la, gt you, Simdy*, Keluhn*, Sharin*, and the 2E1 Nattaporn* all in your class leh! (lol all p0rk)
KaiTing: Nevermind la! Appeal la plz
Jacquelyn: No way man! You appeal into my class la!
KaiTing: Dun wan la so 麻烦! You come la!
Jacquelyn: You think 麻烦 then I not 麻烦 meh? lolz n00b
KaiTing: Walau come la plz MgO
Jacquelyn: You like Science so much go join triple Science la!
KaiTing: PLZ LA JAC JOIN LEH!!!!!!!!!!
[The argument very sian. Meanwhile]
Alsatian: Eh Gnorgnehz why you want join my class?
Gnorgnehz: Bhecos I wans yoo whats!
Alsatian: What la? I dun understand!
Gnorgnehz: Walaos Samjel yoo very ther wad lehz!
Alsatian: I really dunno what you talking right? 一直在那边吵!
Gnorgnehz: Ehz is nt wuth i want one rite!?
Alsatian: Please la, say slowly leh!
[Be sure to watch Animal Battlegrounds on Animal Planet] Meanwhile we can't forget our trademark
YingKang: Ahahahahahaha! Pork pork I am in 3E6! What the hell! Nevermind la! Jonathan got go can liao, we can play Tribal Wars and Chinese Chess together!
Jonathan: Eh YingKang! I quit Tribal Wars already! And I appealing to go another class!
YingKang: Walau betrayer! BETRAYER! I next time kick you out of my tribe!
Jonathan: I TELL YOU I NOT PLAYING ALREADY!!!!!!!
YingKang: Fine la! I dun friend you liao!
Jonathan: DUN FREN DUN FREN LAH!
YingKang: Then recess still can play Chinese Chess together right?
Jonathan: How? I got NPCC lah!
YingKang: Recess got NPCC one meh?
Jonathan: Need to assemble lah!
YingKang: Everyday need meh? I thought NPCC every Friday...
Jonathan: No lah! I forever have liao la!
YingKang: ... Walau Jonathan you like that la... Nevermind! Still got R0N! Eh R0N! Play Tribal Wars?
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Cannot la! Now Sec 3 where got time? Kaopeh!
YingKang: Weekends? Holidays? Still can lah!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Eh boy you know what I talking or not? Say Sec 3 no time you still there kaopeh kaobu! F**ker! (OH SHI
YingKang: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Come sit down, and play Chinese Chess. I show my true skill liao. You die man, you DIE!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: -lax la, YingKang, I say f**ker nia~!
YingKang: You say somemore I 将 you straightaway!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Okay la, let's play man!
[Sian. Meanwhile]
KaiTing: APPEAL LA JACQUELYN TEOW!
Jacquelyn: Dun wan la, got all the p0rk! Okay give me 10 good reasons why I should appeal and I'll appeal.
KaiTing: Because... You're my best friend, my mentor, my teacher, my inspiration, my...
Jacquelyn: 离题 liao la!
KaiTing: I can give you another 96 reasons. Because...
[Meanwhile]
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: F**K! 我没有看到! Shit! F**k! Kaopeh! Ch33buy!
YingKang: See my true skill liao? Pro right?
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: This is not true skill. It's because my 马 forgot to block! I dunno what you move. Go back, go back!
YingKang: 举手不回! I 将 you means I 将 you! Done.
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: KAOPEH! F**ker! (Not again)
[Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile]
Alsatian: What you tokking? Please say slowly leh!
Gnorgnehz: Grrr... I says ssoo mucth then yoo there kip pizzing me ofth! Whats teh hella?
Alsatian: I dunno what you talking right? My handphone missing le!
Keluhn: Eh what you talking about? No kick!
Gnorgnehz: Eh Keluhtn you can shuddup or not? 吵死了!
Keluhn: What la? What I do? I only ask what happened! What the f**k?
Alsatian: He is trying to say something which I cannot understand!
Keluhn: Duh! How can canine understand serpent? I raise you up to become what? A stupid idiot?
Alsatian: Not me lah. It's his problem!
Keluhn: When we go home 我才跟你算账! Put on your leash! We're going home!
Alsatian: But I still dunno what he talking right?
Keluhn: I don't care. Go home now!
Alsatian: Okay lor. You win lor! Go lor!
Gnorgnehz: Stoopid idots! En teh end yoo osso cants undethand wut imma sayin!
[Meanwhile]
KaiTing: ...See? That's enough reasons for you to appeal, and join my class!
Jacquelyn: But why? Can't you join my class?
KaiTing: Eh Jacquelyn I say 麻烦 right?
Jacquelyn: Not 麻烦! Just appeal a class to the admin then they tell you the result!
KaiTing: Really? So 轻松? Ehehehe... Sorry jac...
Jacquelyn: YA LA! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME! WRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!!!!
[Okay. End of one argument. Meanwhile]
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Wah f**k! Not again! Damn it!
YingKang: See? My true skill!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Not your true skill lah! My 车 forgot to block! Go back!
YingKang: Cannot go back, only can play again!
Jonathan: Actually right, you can move your 相 up so you block his 炮! Then he cannot 将 you!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Eh? Ya hor! 又没有看到! 我没有赢我是不会停的! Again!
[Meanwhile]
Keluhn: What you say just now? Stupid idiot right? Dun think I dunno what you said.
Alsatian: Eh pok! 走了啦!
POW!
Animal abuse! Report to SPCA!
SPCA admin: You! Abuse canines right? Come with me! That worm over there, you also come!
Gnorgnehz: Huh? Ehz I neher do anyhing yoo osso takes me! Dammitz la!
[End of another argument. Meanwhile]
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Yes! I finally win! YES! YES! I OWN YINGKANG!
YingKang: ... ... ... ...
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Want play again?
YingKang: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!!!!!
(YingKang died of heart attack.)
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Erm, Jonathan want play?
Jonathan: I got NPCC!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: F**k you la Jonathan! Kaopeh! Like that how play?
Jonathan: You play your Tribal Wars la! I quit liao! I only live for NPCC!
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Ok anything.
[End of game. No more meanwhile. 15 meanwhiles have been used. ]

END OF ALL ARGUMENTS

After Marking Day on Monday

2008-10-13T00:59:00.002+08:00

Tuesday, before we get the results, here's what some people may say/do...

"Walau, sure fail one lah! I never study!" - KaiYing
When in fact she's the one who study the most.

"Die liao, fail liao, cannot liao!" - Kelvin
When he's the most confident of the boys.

Keeps quiet - Samuel
When he's a talkative one.

Ask people for the answer to a question for the paper we are getting back - most people
It's a natural thing to do, although that's stupid, for it's too late.

"Are you scared or not? I scared leh!" - some girls
It is heard from most girls during common tests.

AFTER getting the results, the reactions miraculously changes...

*screams* "My literature/physics/chem/maths/eng/chinese/geog get 98!!!" - KaiYing
That was pretty much expected, because we know that happens almost everytime.

"Your one how much? [after answer] YES! I WIN YOU! OR WALAU! YOU SO HIGH!" - Kelvin
In case you didn't notice, that happens almost everytime too.

"Eh Kelvin! You 95 ah? Yes! I win! I 97 eh! Ah!" - Samuel
When we know he's the most pro of boys. And he's still comparing around.

"Eh you how much? Huh, so high? F**k you lah! Kaopeh!" - Ron
Profanity is his skill.

Keeps quiet - Ying Kang
He sometimes keeps to himself after the results, as observed during common tests.

See if some of the events will happen. :D

SCRIPT #6 (Some people)

2008-09-26T15:08:00.003+08:00

lol now must 冲 script because after EOY i think no time liao lmao XD

YK found some strange book that teaches him how to kill people.

YK: 嘿, what is this powerful book? I don't want to argue with it! "Ladybird Children's Rhymes"?
(YK read the book. Suddenly a ghost appeared in front of him.)
YK: ARGH! What the hell! Don't scare people la, pork!
Ghost: I am God of Death, my name is Look!
YK: Look where?
Look: Look your ass la! MY name is Look! You have found my death notebook.
YK: Eh what the hell? This is childrens' rhymes leh!
Look: Exactly. Try reading it to your friend.
YK: Ok la... Eh kelvin! Pork! Come!
Kelbin: What laa? No kick!
YK: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great...
(Kelbin said "No kick!" and died of heart attack.)
YK: I haven't finished! What the hell!
Look: Exactly! Follow the instructions in the book and you can kill people!
YK: Orh ok! Ahahahahahaha! (do a few jumps) Now I must conquer all of the World! I must try to take over World 23, using only my tribe and no one else's! Eh Mother!
YK m0m: 什么啦? 你的功课还没做完,你还在那里玩!
YK: Quick go south and protect my tribe barrier! Quick! No time, I must start my soldiers and invade other countries!
YK m0m: 你啊,功课还没做啊,就在那里叫我什么 sock bahler 啊! 无聊是不是? F**ker!
YK: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? Play Chinese Chess! Come, sit down! I don't care! Come, I 将军 you already, don't talk cock!
YK m0m: 哎呀,我没有玩这种东西的啦!
YK: What the hell? Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(YK m0m died of heart attack.)
YK: Muahahahaha!
(Soon many people died to YK's magic chant.)
CID officer: lol I cannot solve this thing why so hard!
FBI oficer: Yea, the clues' links are so weak!
Inspector: Eh, you all playing crossword is it? Go back to work laa! Noobs!
CID&FBI: Ooh shit ok XD
Boiboi: Dun worry, I will save all of you!
Inspector: Who are you?
boiboi: I am... L.
Inspector: Ok, so what you want? Why your name so stupid? "L"? One letter nia!
L: Shut up and let me think! Hmm... Many witnesses claimed that once they say f**ker, Kira will appear and kill them, so if I say f**ker...
(YK teleport in front of L.)
YK: You call me F**ker right? You call me F**ker right? Come play Chinese Chess! Come! I show my true skill already!
L: Yes, YOU ARE KIRA!
YK: What KIRA la I am YK lah! Pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork!
(L died of heart attack.)
*To make a long story short, A to Y were unable to arrest YK until Z came along*
Z: Chey, he just want someone to play with him Chinese Chess! If we don't know how play he just keep saying Pork until we die. Chey, so easy! My 25 brothers, aiya, all IQ kosong la!
(Z spent 2 day 2 night learning Chinese Chess.)
Z: Okay learn liao... f**ker!
(YK teleport in front of Z.)
YK: You call me F**ker right? You call me F**ker right? Come play Chinese Chess! Come! I show my true skill already!
Z: Okay la, see who pro!
*Z played with YK Chinese Chess and won him in 车马将*
YK: What the hell? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(YK died of Heart Attack.)
*Z saved the day.*
ZZzzzZZzZzzzzzzzZzZZzzzzzzzzZZzZzZZZzzZ

SCRIPT #5 (EOY)

2008-09-23T00:18:00.003+08:00

Good luck for the exams! Although by the time you read this, the exams will be over anyway. But even so, if you take some time to read this, it will be your stress relief. >:)

(Classroom. Everyone noisy like siao)

YK: Ms. 0W Ms. 0w! Sssssssssh!!!!!
*silence*
Class: Walau YK! Damn you lah! CB! KN²BC²B!
YK: Eh sorry lah boss! Ahahahaha!
KaiTing: Eh eh H₂SO_4!Ms. Tan coming! Eh Ms. Tan coming! Kelvin Ho! Get the hell out of my seat lah!!!!
Keluhn: Wait la, I take my things first cannot ah??
KaiTing: Walau NH₄NO₃lah! My seat leh!
Keluhn: K lor! You good! No kick la! (leaves the seat)
(Ms. Juanis Tan comes in.)
Juanis Tan: I hope you all remembered your balancing equation!
KaiTing: Yes! MgO + H₂O → Mg(OH)_2!Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Walau KaiTing you sibei kaopeh leh!
KaiTing: What lah? MgO, I got learn one okay??
Soma: Tsk, KaiTing... Tsk, KaiTing...
KaiTing: What la, asshole? HCl...
Juanis Tan: Now for a surprise test... What is osmosis?
Keluhn: *sigh* Osmosis is the net movement of water particles from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration.
Juanis Tan: Is he correct?
KaiTing: No lor! Osmosis is the diffusion of a solvent through a semi-permeable membrane, from a solution of low solute concentration to a solution with high solute concentration, up a solute concentration gradient. It is a physical process in which a solvent moves, without input of energy, across a semi-permeable membrane separating two solutions of different concentrations. Osmosis releases energy, and can be made to do work, as when a growing tree-root splits a stone.
Class: Siao! She know full meaning leh!
Juanis Tan: See? Someone has been studying. If she can do it, so can you! Now, copy the full meaning of osmosis 20 times of a piece of foolscap paper.
Class: Walau... f**k you la KaiTing... Noobshit!
KaiTing: What lah? BreadTalk KopiTiam! NaOH!
(N3gr0_94 took KaiTing's pen and threw it on the floor. Hard.)
KaiTing: Walau eh! Damn you lah asshole! KOH! (Rolling the pen in her palms) Walau eh...
Juanis Tan: See? She knows that using heat from her hands, the liquid ink particles expand and their force of attraction decreases, making it liquefy. Now, I want you to copy the Particulate Model of Matter 20 times!
Class: WTF DAMN YOU LA KAITING!!!!!!!!!!11111111111oneoneeleven
(N3gr0_94 took KaiTing's table and flung it over.)
KaiTing: Walau asshole! H₂O... Dun piss me off! *sniff*

MORAL: Study too hard, and the whole class goes against you.

SCRIPT #4 (Mr. Yeo)

2008-09-18T16:08:00.005+08:00

lol I suddenly liked talking about Mr. Yeo in 10 weeks' jail. Script: Mr. Yeo on trial

Jury: Court!
Judge Jon: Okay, plaintiff, you may start your statement.
Plaintiff Pork: Okay, Your Honor. Mr. Yo, do you plead guilty for what you've done?
Mr. Yo: Of course not ah! I lick his car only! What crime does it make?
Plaintiff Pork: Oh? What if I can say that oral contact with vehicles is considered a crime in the "Ultimate Collection of Children's Rhymes"? It is clearly stated in page 126, Section B, topic 17, story 49, paragraph 46, line 32, sentence 76, word...
Mr. Yo: Damn you lah, so much! I only know I cannot be guilty! Don't talk cock!
Plaintiff Pork: In case you didn't know, we have enough evidence to put you behind bars!
Mr. Yo: Don't be an Ass! You talk so much about evidence, but where is your proof?
Plaintiff Pork: I will show them to you through Microsoft PowerPoint™. Watch the slides closely...
(After some time later)
Plaintiff Pork: See? Someone took pictures of you licking the car and hitting Mr. Hok!
Mr. Yo: I was waiting for a sharp student to point that out... Thank you, plaintiff...
Plaintiff Pork: So you plead guilty?
Mr. Yo: I won't tolerate this kind of nonsense! I am not GUILTY! Don't argue with me! I will NEVER plead guilty! I know you despise me, but you don't have to do this!
Judge Jon: Mr. Yo, please calm down! Everything you say in court is recorded to use as evidence against you and you'll be convicted! Now, summon your 1st witness.
Mr. Yo: My loyal partner BM shall cover this up for me!
Plaintiff Pork: So, Mr. Mamba, tell us what happened.
BM: Aqchelleh eyee wuz wolkein dawn teh sttit wen eye sawe misteh yo likkin' carse! Eye elsoo dun lykie heem soo uue can konvick him! Ookae imma done.
Plaintiff Pork: Oh, so you meant, Mr. Yo licked Mr. Hok's car, drove recklessly, hit a motorcyclist and still got away? Your Honor, I accuse Mr. Yo of masterminding the incident!
Mr. Yo: No ah! His Ferrari was so sexy that I I wanted to lick it, when he came I thought he was going me rape me, then i 走 one ah! Because I know I have a sexy body.
(A few minutes of groans and vomiting)
Defendant YK: I object! Mr. Yo is already mentally retarded, confirmed by his birth certificate, and his is less powerful than Mr. Hok, and his Nissan Cefiro is also not powerful than his Ferrari! If he is more powerful, he would rather fight back than run! His mental retardedness has led him to believe that the Ferrari is actually his wife, so he started licking! It's an accident!
Plaintiff Pork: That birth cert is nothing but a piece of drawing block, Your Honor! Don't believe lies said by some damn ass f**ker!
Defendant YK: You call me f**ker right? You call me f**ker right? You die! Come sit down! I play Chinese Chess with you, I show my true skill, you die sia! COME! SIT DOWN!
Mr. Yo: YK, I hire you to be my lawyer, not to play chinese chess.
Defendant YK: I don't care, protecting you is to kiss your ass! You die! I use 车马将,双炮将,双车将,双马将,将军! You die already!
Plaintiff Pork: WTF? I don't even know how to play! I haven't even moved!
Defendant YK: Dun talk crap la, asshole! *snort snort* pork pork AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Judge Jon: Order! Order! ORDER! PLEASE, PEOPLE, SILENCE!
Defendant YK: You come play la, so pro!
Judge Jon: I cannot, I got NPCC!
Defendant YK: Damn your NPCC la! Stupid asshole, let's not be friends liao la!
Judge Jon: Dun fren dun fren lah!
Mr. Yo: HOLD IT!
*silence*
Mr. Yo: I would like to see these few people...
(Mr. Yo gets beaten up)
Mr. Yo: Ah why you hit me? You !@#$%^&*)@@%!$@$!%!!$@%!$@%!!!
Judge Jon: ???
Mr. Yo: !@#$%!%@&!$@%@&*!$!@$%@!!!! (He really starts to speak weird things now)
(2 men came in, tied Mr. Yo in a stringed jacket, and took him away)
Mr. Yo: I may not know your name, but I know your face! You can't run away from me! See me after school...!
Judge Jon: Ahem... So what does the jury have to say?
Jury: Erm... We don't know... Mr. Yo returned to Woodbridge, there's nothing we can do.
Defendant YK: How about we PCC? Play Chinese Chess!
Judge Jon: I just now said NPCC right? No Playing Chinese Chess!
Defendant YK: What the hell! Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork!
(2 men came in, tied YK in a stringed jacket, and took him away)
Defendant YK: Next time I will be more powerful, and show my true skill...!
Judge Jon: Jury...?
Jury: We have Plaintiff Pork for lunch.
(Plaintiff Pork gets eaten up.)
Judge Jon: Okay, I have NPCC. bb
Jury: COURT!
*Verdict: Mr. Yo gone mad, YK gone mad, Plaintiff Pork eaten, Judge Jon NPCC*
lol

History revived!!!

2008-09-13T22:07:00.003+08:00

I went to some web page and it was a forum specially about Mr. Philip Yeo Chuan Lock! The former Sec 1 mad Maths teacher. Enjoy XD pls read all comments, some are funny lol

Aie said: Wah that Nissan driver knows he was caught red handed scratching a car and he mati-mati want to escape to the point of endangering other people's lives. This culprit definitely have to spend time behind bars when caught...

Mark C. said: Read from the paper, tat ah gong dun seem like 1 of those crazy type, but nowadays who can tell who is sick in the mind?

Lion said: Does that plump 40s old guy happen to look like John McClane? WTF? Die Hard 5.0 liao izzit?

OhMiGosh said: aiya.. the most hit and run go jail nia la

Throttle said: the culprit is Philip Yeo Chuan Lock. A very haughty and proud man with little compassion and respect for people in my encounters with him. This lame fella was a teacher in my secondary school . 20yrs ago. many former Saints of that era will remember him as a very 'haolian' teacher who talked bad and looked down openly at younger teachers. He was rude and showed us students no simple mutual respect. i'm not suprise that this lame fella would totally disrespect someone's property and life with his latest lame act. anyone here also in the same era and school as me? what goes around comes around.....

slowrider said: All Right...RETRIBUTION TIME! I like it this way when someone have been an AxxHole for most of his life and seems to get away from it all until the time when he/she gets into a elderly age and then IT IS PAY BACK TIME! Although I don't know this Bxxtard old man ( which is just as well ) I don't have much hope for his kids or his grand children as well...afterall, they all sprout from the same seed!

bensonloo said: Ya, we should leave his kids and grand children out of this. his kid can not be made responsible for his father's wrong doing.

slowrider replied: aya children nia... die still got children right??

QX said: seriously speaking... Give Him Die.. Rot In Hell!!

Throttle said: Cant remember what F-u-c-k he taught. But if you are from zhong Hua then you are not an Old Boy, so i think you got the wrong guy. Anyway there was a big picture of him in the straits times.

myxilplix said: Yes he taught math. He was actually back in zhonghua this year teaching again on a part-time basis. Still a total and complete prick with no respect or decency.

Throttle said: I see....i see.... It must be like this:- He used to teach in my school 20 years ago, then he got transferred to your school in more recent years. Anyway, this fella is a failure in my books.

Laguna11 said: wah.. a teacher turned into a bitch???

ah_tee replied: complete scum, given he this kind of attitude, i think on the roads he also dun give a darn abt bikers, defintely

panclanrider said: Ya ya tell him go fcking die and ask police cut his balls la...

Mark C. replied: dude you are so cruel
It's amazing to see such responses from people all around the world. lol

Weird Funny Strange Stupid Pictures

2008-08-20T20:57:00.009+08:00

Look what I found on Yahoo:

The Sly/Crafty/Cunning Fox. It says sly, but w/e

Look at the hippo. What a big mouth! LMAO

Mad dog!

Some stupid sign regarding racism

A Black Dog.

The fastest snake in the world, the Black Mamba! lol

Organic pig.

WATCH HOW THEY PLAY THE PIANO DAMMM ZAI!

2008-08-16T18:39:00.001+08:00

NUMB-

WHAT I HAVE DONE-

IN PIECES

SCRIPT #3 (TOTALLY RANDOM STORY)

2008-08-15T17:15:00.007+08:00

Nothing to do so a script should be posted. This is just a random script so a random person please don't get randomly upset or mad if the script has coincidentally matched your actions perfectly. Just randomly watch it for pleasure. lol. read names with mirrors

THE ADVENTURES OF YYM (aka Yeo Yao Ming)
Based on a true event

YYM was in school with his random pals Nivlek and Leumas. Recently their teacher, Mr. Sumpah had organized a trip to runESCAPE Theme Park.

YYM: That dumbass Sumpah! So freaking biased! Always side with the gals one!!!!
Nivlek: Ya la ya la...
YYM: Dun yalayala me lah! You also! Faggots Lying Ignoring Repeated Torments!
Nivlek: Oei dun say me lah! Dun tell me you dun have!
YYM: Where got where got? No proof dun accuse lah, stupid!
Leumas: Eh so you all going or not? To runESCAPE?
YYM: Hah, like I will go like that! To hell with that bloody teacher la!
*****Just then Gnakgniy, Nahtanoj, Naijiz, Gnorgnehz, Soma, Salohcin, Htennek and Retardedly Oblivious Nerd came along and asked what happened.*****
YYM: Aiya it's that damn Sumpah lah! He organize what crappy trip to runESCAPE! Surely is he want the girls all play with him one lah!
Gnakgniy: Haha Oink oink PSP *snort* Ahahahahhaha!
Nahtanoj: Cannot go lah, I got NPCC!
Gnorgnehz: Cannot, got tests and piano pieces to do!
Soma: Okay ah, set who won't go?
ALL: WE ALL DUN GO LAH!
YYM: Okay la, all don't go, see who's the Fishy Looking Idiotic Retarded Tank who goes!
Soma: Say one ah! Surely Nivlek, Leumas, Naijiz go one lah! Noobass!
Nivlek: Oei we go is our prob not yours leh!
Leumas: (who previously was able to think for himself) Ya la! Not your problem leh!
Naijiz: Ya la, we just go then also nothing happen!
YYM: Stupid! Only Faggots Looking Idiotic Reciting Titles can go with that bloody Mr. Sumpah! He's also a bloody Fish Living In Raped Trousers! All who go is also one!
*****ONE WEEK LATER*****
Soma: EXPECTED! Nivlek, Leumas and Naijiz go! *sigh*
Retardedly Oblivious Nerd: Aiya all Faking Lives In Raised Tumours lah!
YYM: Wah siao! At runESCAPE damn fun sia,you all never go... OH SHIT! *cover mouth*
Soma: Orh! Hehehehe... Faggot Living In Reversed Time!
YYM: DAMN

MORAL
Don't lie

LOL SO IN THE END YYM WAS DISCOVERED TO BE THE
Fish Loving Iron Rusted Telephones

LMFAO

QUESTION 2

2008-08-09T02:06:00.003+08:00

What is the colour of our blog?
Is it:
A. Pink?
B. Blue?
C. Black?
D. White?

Sorry to the colour-blind people, you're at a disadvantage. But what the heck
Instead of answering in the tagboard, you may leave the answer in the "Comments" section of the post. Answer by Tuesday and stand to win attractive prizes.
The people giving the prizes are not responsible if the prize does not arrive on time, due to the time constraints and the manufacturers producing the product slowly.

QUESTION1

2008-08-07T19:58:00.001+08:00

WHATS MY URL OF MY BLOG?
(Hint: Ask urself how u come here de. and look at the top)
WRITE YOUR ANSWER FAST QUICK!!!!

WIN PRIZES

2008-08-06T21:49:00.003+08:00

DUE TO THE NEARCOMING NDP WE HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE OUT PRIZES FOR THOSE WHO ALWAYS READ OUR BLOG. VISIT OUR BLOG AND ANSWER QUESTION AND U MIGHT STAND A CHANCE TO WIN SOME ATTRATIVE PRIZES. I WILL POST A QUESTION EVERY DAY(IF POSSIBLE) THE FIRST PERSON TO TAG THE ANSWER WINS.
1QUESTION= 1 PRIZE(SECRET)

ALSO IF U INVITE FRIEND TO MY BLOG U CAN WIN ATTRACTIVE PRIZES TOO. THIS EVENT WILL LAST TILL NEXT SATURDAY. GOODBYE
BY LAMER=P

BADMINTON COMPETITION

2008-08-02T18:22:00.002+08:00

WAH SIAN LA I TOT I GONNA LOSE THE DOUBLE. IN THE END, WE WON. AND I REALLY WON. EUGENE THROW HIS BADMINTON ON THE GROUND. DUNNOE WHY I ALSO THROW LOL. THEN. SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPEN. MY BADMINTON RACKET HAS TRASFORMED INTO A GUZHENG. I CAN PLAY WITH THE STRING IF I AM BORED. LOL..... ANYWAY I HECK CARE LA CUZ I HAD LOTS OF FUN HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

BY LAMER=P

FUNNY VIDEOS WATCH IT OR REGRET

2008-07-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

1st)
BEST FUNNY VID I LAUGH TILL LIKE SIAO HAHAHA!!! WATCH THIS

2nd)

THIS VID I THINK 2ND MOST FUNNY TRY WATCHING IT IF GT TIME BT STILL WATCH THE FIRST ONE FIRST

3RD)

WATCH THIS VID AND NOE FUNNY THINGS ABOUT LOCH NESS MONSTER!!!

4)

SOME STUPID PEOPLE TRYING TO DO SOME STUPID STUFF HILARITY ENSURES

5))

THIS VID ABOUT SOME STUPID PRANK

6))

JOKE ABOUT GEORGE BUSH HAHAHAHAAHA SIBEI FUNNY DE HU AND WHU

7)

WINNIE THE POOH TRYING TO WORSHIP SATAN WTF HAHA

BY LAMER=P HEHE

Racist Harmony Day 2008

2008-07-23T20:28:00.007+08:00

Well since some weird meat not eaten by Muslims have deleted the bogus post at the 2E2 blog, this is what will happen. I will post all the stuff here. If the meat come then also can't login to delete. Aha noob This is the original picture:

This is another weird one:

This is another pic: The Class of 40 Convicts (including 1 nigga)

You know how convicts in TV always have their eyes censored? This is it.

I noticed that the whole lot like wearing sunglasses like that. Looks cool. And there are 2 black faces. lol. And... This is a joke! If you don't get the joke and shout "WTF DELETE LA ASSHOLE DUN PISS ME OFF LA HAMPORK PORK PORK F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU F*CK YOU NIGGA BASTARD FATASS I KNOW I PORK BUT DUN SAY LA FAG YOU THINK YOU BLACK MAMBA VERY PRO RIGHT HALAL NOOB" then too bad no choice but to take it down. Aiya just voice your complaints in the tagboard la.

POSTED BY 10

LOL

2008-07-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

Dead.

SCRIPT #2 (DRAMA CLUB)

2008-07-03T15:53:00.003+08:00

THE SPECIAL SCENES: WARNING - INCREDIBLY RACIST

*Drama students take up positions*

Gay runs in. Shouts "THE INDIANS ARE HERE!"
Students run and scream. Chaos. Freeze scene.
Narrators step forward.

Sachin: 15th February, 1942, that was my grandmothere's birthday!
YK: Erm... Eveeeree One Was perpared.
BlackMamba: The indianssss wereth Harsssshhh rulerssss.
SmartAleck: Obviously lives were turn upside-down, right? I know!
BlackMamba: Sssssshhhhhh!
SmartAleck: Skip this long 5hit and move on! Um... 3 years of happiness!
(Students move around shaking hands with each other.)
Sachin: There was 3 years of celebaration! I know, because I'm an intelligent boy!
YK: Er... 3 yeers of lawe and oordeer.
BlackMamba: 3s yeaRs offe mizerys
All narrators: 3 years of GHEY.

Scene changes.
BlackMamba: Fassst forwaerd thoo thoday, 2-0-0-8. Shtingapore pints aye differents picturxes tho teh world.
Sachin: Helo, my name is Sachin, I know because I'm intelligent!
YK: Backman can hear? Ok, I am... ah, YK ah!
BlackMamba: Andth mys names isss *** ***** ****. (incredibly racist)
SmartAleck: Oh hello beings of the land of wood known as the Hall! I am Retard.
All:Welcome to our play - Singapore, A Retarded Tomorrow.
YK: Backman really can hear? Okay ah, erm, we are all... uglee singapoorins!
Sachin: We will show how we are! I know, because I'm intelligent!
*Scene changes*
Sharon: Hey, why look so glum?
(Adrian gives the letter)
Sharon: Oh, you got 24 for Maths.
Adrian: Can you imagine I'm going to choose my subjects 2 weeks later?
Sharon: C'mon, it's only 2 weeks. Time flies.
Adrian: Easy for you to say! When I choose, you will be done already! Urrrgh! I don't want to be slower than you!
Sharon: WTF Why do you say that?
Adrian: Look, I've failed, who can save my results? Just one word from the teacher, and my grades will be wiped out!
Sharon: True, but there are also other people who score lower than you! See, look at Retards, they all get 0 for Maths! I wouldn't want my grades to drop too! By the time you work hard, it will be too late!
(Adrian begins to think)
SmartAleck: Sharon is right blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
*Scene change*
Bro1: Hey do you smell something burning?
Bro2: Nothing to worry! I'm cooking chicken wings! ...OH SHIT THE CHICKEN WINGS ARE BURNING!!!!
Bro1: Huh then later our dinner how?
Bro2: No choice la, must ask neighbour for help!
Bro1: (looking around) Erm, but I lost the keys...
Bro2: kanina! Nevermind, we ask for help! (go to the door)
*Neighbour walks past*
Bro2: Hey sir, we were planning to cook chicken wings but it overcooked and we lost the keys. Can help us cook chicken wings?
Neighbour: Chicken wings? I don't know, I don't know...
Bro2: Hey sir wait la sir oei sir wait la, SIR!!!!!!!!

Sachin: many of us do not think this will happen to us. I know because I'm intelligent!
smartAlcek: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

*Scene change*

Gay Boss: Hey, James...
Gay worker: Yes, boss???
Gay Boss: Why you yesterday never go my house do course?
Gay worker: Er... Don't have la, Boss... I am busy!
Gay boss: What? I told you the course will help you UPGRADE YOUR BED SKILLS!
Worker: Boss, I can mange!
Boss: Even my daughter is taking up that course, so do my old parents at the CC! If you continue to think this way, then no one will love you and you will never do a bed scene again!

*James is speechless*

YK: Backman, you can hear? Okay, next scene!
*Scene change*
Customer: Excuse me?
Sales: Kanina! What's your lanjiao? No jibai isit? What's the 5hit problem?
Customer: Do you have size 6?
Sales: Motherjibai! All here lah! Cannot see meh?
customer: Yes, but I can't find it. Can you check the store?
Sales: You got legs?
Customer: Yea, why?
Sales: Ownself go see lah! Kanina! So pro! Jibai!
Customer: Can at least go check?
Sales: Kanina, wait lah! (Check and come back) What the hell la, DUN HAVE!
Customer: What about other branches?
Sales: KANINA! CANNOT OWNSELF GO ASk MEH? MOTHERJIBAI!
Customer: What kind of attitude is that?
BlackMamba: Goodnesssss! ehs Seervis iss sssso bad!
SmartAleck: PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
PUT ME OUT OF MY
PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YK: Arm... This is kwait common in Singapore leh.
SmartAleck: Also, people, their level of language is like so bad lah!
Blackmamba: Yourss languagesss nots pros lehs!~
Sachin: Quick change next scene! I know because I'm intelligent!
BlackMamba: Orchardsss Sthattion.

*Many people picking their nose. Then they rush in and squeeze.*
Sachin: Freeze! (because I'm intelligent) I'm shocked by how people behave. But I know as I'm intelligent!
YK: So from here we should not argue with people who are more powerful than us.
SmartAleck: Hey, do you know what day I look forward to every year?
YK: Wut?
SmartAleck: My funeral day! A time for all Singaporeans to celebrate!
Sachin: Yes... The moment makes me feel... INTELLIGENT!
BlackMamba: YESSSSSSSSHsthSThsth!
ALL: We are ONE RETARDS, ONE PILE OF SHIT, AND ONE JINGANGKOR!
*SCENE ENDS*

Reflections for E-Learning Day 2008

2008-07-03T15:47:00.002+08:00

Who gives reflections on such days where you can use the com like for 24 hours? Meh. Back to posting 5hit. Now got holiday for 4 days, Friday - Monday. What gives? Since got nothing to post so just come put random post lahs. Nubs. Hope you all die when the word "MACBETH" is said.

aaaarghjhg gpot smoetihng caiugh t meeeeee diafhioafhpokabkfbkd abkjeh[oihneo gw[UHfu cm iHelp eme enojwgwrn ongj

sIBeI sUAy SiA

2008-06-30T23:46:00.005+08:00

Walau everytime is the Lamer=P tio something one. I hope I get involved in accident so at least can post something good. Or else this one all he take already sia.

POSTED BY 10cent.

P.S. Actually quite suay already. I go to some stupid IRRITATING BLOG and like freaking 500 windows come out. Then since I got some time I went into the blog and spammed his CBox thingy. Then I linked the bl0g there. I guess that guy will visit sometime.

Today sUay Sia

2008-06-30T18:50:00.002+08:00

HaIz ThE mInuTes I sing FinisH tHE naTional ENthEM Mr.wong fInd Me And Gave me 1 dETention 1 deMerIt 2 Cwo days... Jst becuz i cAnt wAke uP F0r mY cCA 2 TimeS ....... 2mRRo i fAmous AS mr deSmond CHong anOunce My nAMe fOR deTEntIon... HAiz

By LaMeR:(

FIRST TIME BLOGGING

2008-06-29T13:39:00.003+08:00

wAh t0day i spEnd aLL my time Jst to pUt the tag boards.Me and my bro 10cents finally manage to complete OUr blog. pLEase gIve us s0me coMMents ab0ut our blog. We w1Ll chnge if we cAn. enjoy our blog
[Blog Tips] Please refrain from using vulgarities
LOl
BY LAmEr=P

Let me make it clear

2008-06-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

ERM GUYS LISTEN UP

LAMER=P is ONE PERSON

10cents IS ANOTHER GUY

TOGETHER WE ARE TEH SHITZOR

SCRIPT #1(LEARNING CARNIVAL)

2008-06-28T22:16:00.003+08:00

Today going to share our first script, quite meaningful script which we use for our learning carnival in the end we still didnt make it haiz :

Narrator: Once there was a boy, named John. He’s mother had suffered from a serious disease, and is in a serious condition. *At the hospital.

SCENE

[Boy walks up and down looking flustered. Father is sitting on a seat and his face in his hands.]

John: Uh~ what to do? What to do?

Father: Calm down, John. We’re still waiting for the news. Your mother’s going to be okay. (Motioning) Why don’t you sit down, and relax…

John: What, calm down? Mom is dying down there and you tell me to relax? Hmph, I can’t calm down now, Father! Mom was groaning just now… You saw it!

Father: And walking up and down doesn’t change a thing. Come on, your mom’s going to be okay. The doctors are good here, they can take anything.

John: What? And I was thinking this hospital doesn’t even have a qualified doctor in here! I want to transfer Mom to another hospital…

Father: Look. The doctors have gone in and are examining her right now. They aren’t taking their own sweet time, a life is at stake, and they know that!

John: But, even so… (As he talks a doctor comes in)

[Boy turns around quickly to see DOCTOR] [Father stands up eagerly]

John: Oh! Doctor! How’s my Mom? Tell me she’s okay!

Doctor: I’m afraid not, boy. Your mother… she has liver cancer, at a critical Stage 4. We have to perform an operation on her at once. But this operation has a low chance of succeeding; it may be very risky, but we’ll try our best.

John: What? Liver cancer? Stage 4? You didn’t say that yesterday!

Doctor: Yes, we didn’t, we only found out just now. Now, sorry, we have to prepare the operation at once. (Leaves briskly)

Father: This is getting serious… Not only we’ll need to worry about your Mom, we’ll have to worry about the cost as well, with this operation…

John: Don’t worry; there WILL be a way to get the money.

Father: I mean, if we work or request for a pay advance, then it may take too long…

*Narrator: John thinks carefully about this and 2 options came to his mind. One option is to follow his father’s words and work or get a pay in advance to get the money… The 2^nd option is the choice that most people wouldn’t choose… and that is to rob a bank of its money.

John: (Whirling suddenly) Dad, I know of a way to get the money quickly.

Father: What? How? Request for an advanced pay?

John: (Shake head) No. I have a faster way. (Runs off)

Father: What? A faster way? Where’re you going?

SCENE

[A BANK TELLER at the bank table serving a CIVILIAN]

*Narrator: John decides to rob a bank out of desperation. He obtains a fake gun and proceeds to the bank.

[Boy comes in.]

John: This is the hold-up! (Takes out gun, points at Bank Teller) Give me the money! (Civilian squats down and holds head in fear)

Bank teller: What? This is…

John: (goes forward) Quick, give me the money I you don’t want to see a bullet in your head! Quick! GIVE ME THE MONEY! (He sounded desperate and is going to cry)

Bank Teller: Alright, alright! Don’t! Don’t! (Pointing at the gun)

John: Then quick! Put in the bag!

Bank teller: Alright! Okay! Here! Here! (Puts money in bag) Now you had your fill! Just…. Don’t point that at me! (Backing away)

[Boy calms down.]

John: I didn’t want to do this, but I have to. (Runs off)

[BANK TELLER quickly regains spirit, picks up the phone to dial 999]

Bank teller: Police… Police! The bank had been robbed! By some boy! Yes, JuneBank! Hurry!

SCENE

[Father sits there doing nothing. Boy comes panting.]

Father: John! Where have you been?

John: No time, Dad. (Gives money) Quick, take this money to pay for the operation!

Father: What? How did you get so much money within that short while!?

John: No time to explain. I’ve got to get out of here!

[2 policemen arrives and grabs John’s arms]

Policeman 1: You are under arrest! We’ve managed to track you down!

[Policeman 2 uses his arms to lock john’s arms]

John: (struggling) Dad! You must get the money to pay for Mom! You must~!

Father: What? What happened, son? What did YOU DO…?

SCENE: Police Station

Inspector: Right, Mr. Lim. Why did you rob the money from the bank? We’ve recovered the money from your father. Why?

John: My Mom got a terrible disease and the bills were costly, so I had no choice, but to rob.

Inspector: Your father… He’s involved in this?

john: No, I did it all myself. My Dad didn’t do anything!

Inspector: Well, okay, fine. Robbing banks is a serious… very serious crime. You’ll have to be taken to court. Do you want to hire a lawyer?

John: No, that needs money. I don’t want to use any money from now. I’m more than willing to be jailed, just promise me you’ll help my Mom. Please…

Inspector: Okay. You, Mr. Lim, will be jailed, but we will help you with the operation costs….

john: Uh… Thank you! Thank you!

*Narrator: And so John really went to jail, and as promised, the police helped pay for the hospital and operation bills. The story went on the newspaper headlines.

Reader1: Wow, look, this story is so touching! Oh my gosh, it’s unbelievable this thing can happen!

Reader2: What a sad story! We must do our part!

*Narrator: And all the newspaper readers who were touched by the story of john

visited the hospital and donated generous amounts of money. Father was very happy.

SCENE

Father: Good news, son. Many people were touched by your story and donated a lot of money to us! And the operation went smoothly! Your mother’s going to be fine!

[Son cries]

THE END.

Please try to cry LOL thnks =D.

posted by teh SHITZOR

LaMeST bLOg eVa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

SCRIPT #25 (B.Nerd Origins)

EPIC VIDEOS WATCH IT HAHA=)HAPPY DEEPAVALI LOL

SIDE NOTE

Best of canon rock=)

SCRIPT #24 (contribution)

剧本＃二十三 （中国CHYNA)

SCRIPT #22 (Mr Chong investigates)

SCRIPT #21 (Suhayo's script)

SCRIPT #20 (Argument of the Week)

Ying Kang in Joker Mode

SCRIPT #19 (The Most Epic Battle EVAR)

Watch this =)

SCRIPT #18 (SHRYTNCMKTM)

SCRIPT #17 (Wrath of The Noob)

SCRIPT #16 (New character OMG OMG)

SCRIPT #15 (On Trial 2)

SCRIPT #14 (Let there be Randomness)

lol Help needed

SCRIPT #13 (Sssthar Warsthx 3)

MY valentine

SCRIPT #12 (Sssthar Warsthx 2)

SCRIPT #11 (Sssthar Warsthx 1)

SCRIPT 10 =)) Mrs Mil

SCRIPT #9 (The Road Less Taken)

Ying Kang in General Mode

SCRIPT #8 (Retarded)

Merry christmas all=)

SCRIPT #7 (2009)

After Marking Day on Monday

SCRIPT #6 (Some people)

SCRIPT #5 (EOY)

SCRIPT #4 (Mr. Yeo)

History revived!!!

Weird Funny Strange Stupid Pictures

WATCH HOW THEY PLAY THE PIANO DAMMM ZAI!

SCRIPT #3 (TOTALLY RANDOM STORY)

QUESTION 2

QUESTION1

WIN PRIZES

BADMINTON COMPETITION

FUNNY VIDEOS WATCH IT OR REGRET

Racist Harmony Day 2008

LOL

SCRIPT #2 (DRAMA CLUB)

Reflections for E-Learning Day 2008

sIBeI sUAy SiA

Today sUay Sia

FIRST TIME BLOGGING

Let me make it clear

SCRIPT #1(LEARNING CARNIVAL)

剧本＃二十三　（中国CHYNA)